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Sana

When I had woken up, Tzuyu wasn't by my side. Honestly, I was debating weather or not to leave and head back to Korea. I know she won't be able to forgive me at all because of what I did... But I do love her with all my heart and I see that now.... But I do also see that she clearly doesn't love me like she used to... I decided to head out of the room to find Tzuyu so I could tell her that I have made my decision.
    After a couple of minutes of searching, I found her in the kitchen reading what looks like a note that her mom left for her. I just stood there at the arch way admiring her for a couple of seconds before I had said something. "What are you doing?" I had asked scratching my head. I didn't bother to fix my outfit because it wasn't anything new to her. She quickly turned around and saw me just standing there waiting for her to respond. She had snapped out of her thoughts before I was able to ask anything. "Mom left us a note. She's going to be coming home late tonight. There's food in the fridge." She had said before throwing away the paper. "Oh. Okay. Listen-" Before she had let me finish, she cut me off. "About last night, it was a mistake. I didn't intend for it to go down like that. It shouldn't have went down like that. I'm sorry. I don't know what came of me." I just stood there for a quick second realizing what was happening. At this point, I had just accepted whatever she wanted at this point. I didn't want to keep fighting for someone who doesn't want me back. "Tzuyu." I had called out which made her look at me all serious. "I'm going back to Korea tonight." I understand that I am here for her but, she keeps turning me down and pushing me away. I know why, but this isn't helping either of us. I had stopped scratching my head awhile ago, but it was on my head because I was trying to think if what I am saying is what will be best for us. "I think I made a mistake coming here." I took a pause waiting for her to respond. "What do you mean?" She had asked out of curiosity. I then sighed. This will hurt me so much to say to her. "I know you don't love me. I know you don't have room left in your heart for me after what I had done." I stopped for a moment. It was hurting me to say this so much. I was trying so hard not to cry. "Hey." She raised her voice at me just a little bit. "I apologized left and right. I was hoping you would understand and forgive me." At this point, all of my thoughts and what I wanted to say just came out. "Sana-" I didn't want her to confuse me anymore so I just cut her off. "I know. You say you forgive me but, I don't think you truly did. Tzuyu, I love you. I will always love you. But I don't think you love me. I came to terms with it last night. Even though we did what we did last night, I felt a spark from that. I felt love. But that feeling left when we stopped. It stopped because in that moment, I knew that was the only time you loved me. I'm going to get my stuff packed and get dressed to leave later tonight. I will have a cab bring me to the airport." She had tears streaming down her face. Meanwhile, I was trying to keep mine from falling. I then left the kitchen and went into the living room. I could hear her hyperventilating a little. After hearing that, I was in the guest bedroom where my stuff was so I could pack. When she walked in, I was already dressed and packing. I quickly got dressed so I could leave. I can't be in the same place with someone I love, knowing they don't love me. Tzuyu was standing in the doorway, giving me room to get my stuff together. "Sana." I stopped packing after hearing her say my name. I love her calling my name. It's like music to my ears. But, I didn't look at her. I just kept staring at my stuff. "You're right. You have been apologizing left and right for what you did. You're right, I still don't understand nor do I forgive you for what you have done. But, I have been convincing myself to forgive you so I can love you again. Last night, I felt that spark too. But, I didn't feel that spark leave. It's still there. I still feel that spark." She had said to me. I then turned around and looked at her. "If you still feel that spark, tell me that you love me. Tell me that you forgive me and that you mean it. Tell me not to leave." I need a reason to stay. If she keeps telling me all this but then treat me like dirt the next, I don't deserve it. Tzuyu just stood there looking at me. She didn't respond, so I took that as her answer. "That's what I thought." I then turn around to pack my stuff. "I thought that if I had came down-" before I could finish, she walked over to me with tears streaming down her face. She grabbed my shoulders, making me face her that led to me dropping the clothes that were in my hands, onto the floor. She kissed me. After she pulled away, she looked at me. "I love you. Please... please don't leave me." She had manage to say with her voice cracking. Tears were streaming down both of our faces.