10. Mixed signals

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I'm giddy as I lay in my bed midway through messaging with Daniel. I had waited until after having a really long hot bath unable to get him off my mind smiling the entire time. After dragging my duvet downstairs and getting both lunch and tons of snacks. After watching a movie. After my Dad got home and we watched some crappy TV together while we ate dinner and I tried excusing why I was home so early telling him that work was quiet so Daniel had sent me home to finish resting because he still felt responsible to which my Dad huffed and said good because he was. I waited until he went into the kitchen to grab another drink before I was finding my phone in my jogging bottoms to text him but to my surprise I already had a message from him from half hour ago.

D: Come on Allister you're killing me waiting!

A: Evening... give me a minute to go bet into bed.

So began the flirting all over again as he instantly was commenting on how I wanted to be in bed to talk to him asking me why as well as why I hadn't messaged him sooner. It was constant back and forth between us so much so I had no TV on just lay in the darkness of my room under the duvet I'd dragged back upstairs staring at my phone awaiting the next message from him already knowing it wouldn't be long.

D: Work sucked today. I don't know if it's because I'm already
used to seeing you there to brighten my day

A: Oh yh I'm sure that's exactly what it is actually!

D: Don't try be funny mister. I'm being honest!

A: Well I had a great day. I took a bath and watched a film. My Dad cooked chilli for dinner and then we watched car rescue.

D: Car rescue? I wouldn't of picked that for something you'd watch...

A: There is plenty you don't know about me

D: Tell me then... tell me stuff you don't tell others...

A: What would be the point in that haha

D: Because then I would know...
Tell me something about yourself your ex didn't know. Please.

A: I see why you'd wanna know that... does he bother you? Haha

D: Yes he does actually. I bet his a right nonce
Now tell me...

A: Umm... When I was thirteen and discovering I liked guys the only way I could look at guys was by watching love island... My Dad high fived me when he saw me watching it one night thinking it was for the women just told me not to tell my Mom he knew because it was on too late and apparently was too old for me

D: Didn't you have the internet to watch porn or look at pictures online?

A: No. I didn't get a phone until fourteen when I started taking myself to school on the bus. We had a laptop but honestly I kind of didn't know that stuff existed. I discovered porn because a friend told me at school. He shown me a video of this girl giving head. I was so shocked he had it and confused.

D: Bet you went home and stayed in your room all night ;)

A: Not that night. I was scared... About a week later though I took the day off school sick haha

D: Damn haha. We defo should change the subject
Me liking you now you're 16 is bad enough. I can't talk to you about you being 14

A: So you like younger guys?

D: Never thought about it. I've dated people my age guys in their twenties mainly. Never younger unless it was when I was younger too

A: What makes me different?

D: Allister I have no idea... It's how innocent you are. Literally from the moment you walked into my
office I felt compelled then when you tried acting all tough and trying to put me in my place...
How you still do now... god it does things to me

A: I don't act all tough I just don't want to put up with your shit. I wasn't late that first day!

D: I never actually looked into it because I don't care

A: I'm not as innocent as you think I am either

D: Hmmm I'll be the judge of that

A: I've been with Jordan. His bad enough to make anyone impure

D: Urgh don't even. His nothing hun. I'd show you but it wouldn't be right...

A: Why should you decide what I want? I'm seventeen next week... I'm not some immature baby that everyone needs to protect. I can make my own mind up on what I want

D: Huh... and what would that be?

A: That would be telling...
Am I in work tomorrow?

D: Yep. And I need you to come see me once I'm in. Half 8 in my office
Okay. I better go to sleep then. I don't know if it makes any difference to you but my snapchat is Allister-the-Voss ;)

D: Goodnight Allister

I climb out my covers noticing this entire conversation I'd been having with him had left me with a lingering semi. If I was to even think straight when I see him tomorrow I will have to do something to ease myself. I pull an oversized hoodie from the back of my door and put it on checking it hangs down enough to cover me before I head to the bathroom, quick enough to not be seen but not too fast that if I was seen it would look suspicious. Quietly I sort myself out alone before having a quick wash and brushing my teeth ready for bed, getting on with the rest of my evening routine like nothing had happened.

I go back into my room and throw myself under the covers looking for my phone straight away to check the time and that my alarm was still set for tomorrow.

A notification reads MrDDawson added you om snapchat. Giddy I went into the app and accepted his request very quickly after I had a snap from him. I opened it excitedly my heart starting to pound seeing his face on the screen stretched out on his sofa no longer in any type of suit but instead what looked like joggers and a very baggy vest, it hanging low under his armpits revealing a lot of skin. I gulp before trying to get a decent picture of myself. I'm now shirtless though after flinging the jumper from my body just before getting into bed so pull the sheets a little higher to try give myself some decency not just because I was hoping he wouldn't think I'm purposely sending half naked pictures but also because I just didn't feel that confident.

I send a picture I wasn't one hundred percent happy with but knew that I probably wouldn't be happy with any that I took and I couldn't leave him waiting too long.

It soon says his opened the picture and then when the time was up on it and he could no longer see it he opened it again. Quickly came a reply that made me heat up back to the same situation I was in before going to the bathroom only worse as I had a nervous excitement. The picture was of his grey joggers, a very evident growth inside of them the outline not leaving much to the imagination. The caption read; fuck Allister look what you do to me.

I go into the messages part and type to him instead of sending another picture even if I enjoyed winding him up.

A: Maybe we should message on here if things are going to get naughty. No evidence ;)

D: Things aren't getting naughty... I can't let it. Sorry I keep giving
mixed signals but you're kind of messing with my head right now

The flirting was quickly stopped, my mood plummeting as he tried calling us nothing again. How he could go from being so forward with me, it him doing the sexual things to saying nothing was happening I just couldn't understand. He either wanted me or he didn't. I can't stand the back and forth not knowing where we stand from one second to the next.

A: Me messing with your head? That's rich coming from the guy who is sending me a picture of his dick then telling me nothing is going on here. You need to make your mind up because I'm sick of it already. I'm not a play along type of guy Daniel.

I'm actually surprised I got no message back even though I saw that he had read my message. I go to sleep eventually spending I don't know how long stuck in my head. He thinks I'm just a kid. I'm not too young to work for him, get him good partners, arrange important stuff like meetings and remind him of emails he needs to reply to but I'm too young to make up my own mind on if I like him?

He said himself it isn't illegal so it's all in his head...

Tomorrow will be awkward now. I wish I just hadn't if said anything or at least just not said what I did.

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