𝐿𝑒𝓉𝓉𝑒𝓇 𝓉𝑜 𝓎𝑜𝓊 | Kita Shinsuke x Reader

𓆩♡𓆪 5 | New emotions

Kita ruffles his hair with a towel and enters the kitchen to grab a bottle of green tea. He feels more refreshed after having dinner and a nice shower. Kita walks over to his bedroom and reaches for a stack of the love letters that sits by his nightstand. The boy then walks over to the main room and slides the screen door open to sit outside on the patio. The spring night air is crisp and comfortable. 

Kita drapes the towel around his neck and cracks open the green tea, taking a long sip. He sets it down beside him as his feet dangle off the raised wooden patio. The only sound being crickets chirping and the gentle breeze. Kita sets the stack of letters to his left and picks one up in his fingertips. This is letter five. 

Carefully tearing open the envelope, Kita reaches in for the letter. As usual the first line is of the date. At times Kita feels as though he's reading a diary. Each one containing about the girl's day and moments she's caught sight of him doing something cool in her eyes. Some days she has more to say. Especially the days where the team would have a volleyball game. 

She doesn't know the terms of the plays but it's enjoyable to read her explain it out. A chuckle escapes from Kita when he further reads her letter. Each vivid detail can easily bring Kita back to those days. The way he felt like the whole world was on his shoulders every game. The role of the captain is no easy feat. 

So this is how someone sees him when he's playing a match. Is he really this cool? Or is she simply infatuated by him to see him like this? Kita's eyes scan the letter quickly. She speaks so highly of him that it makes him feel...shy.

Kita takes a moment to look away from the letter. He's getting a weird feeling in his chest that he displeases. The emotion out of the norm. The previous letters didn't make him react this way. Maybe he's just less guarded today with his feelings. 

"You're really cool Kita. I'm sure I've written that out plenty of times already. The way you support your team is admirable. You're also studious and attentive to your work. I can keep listing things out but those are just the few reasons why I've fallen for you." 

"Today we made brief contact. You hardly noticed since we just bumped into each other afterschool. You were chasing after Atsumu. I'm guessing he was giving you trouble again. I'm sure he's a headache but your friendship is something I'm envious of. The two of you are hilarious to watch."

"I ate alone again today in the cafeteria. I feel as though no one realizes I exist. But seeing your face eases the day a little. Maybe I'm delusional but seeing you happy makes me happy too. Is it too much pressure on you if I told you that you're the reason I continue to come to school? There's nothing else that strives me to come back. Actually, that's partially a lie. I'm studying hard for good grades to show my mom the next time I visit her in the hospital."

"I feel so helpless Kita. The doctors said my mom has to remain in the hospital for more tests. She's been in the hospital since the start of my first year. She looks much paler than the last time I saw her. I couldn't cry in front of her or else that would worry her more. My grandparents are trying their best to keep me company but I just feel guilty for having them worry over me. I just want someone to talk to that's my age, you know?"

"I've been crying a lot. I think the loneliness while being in school is getting to me. It's so strange how lonely you can feel despite being surrounded by so many people. I haven't been able to see you either since I'm afraid to show anyone my redden eyes. But I hope you're doing well."

Kita's chest aches the more letters he reads. Without realizing how late it's gotten, Kita finishes the last letter of that year. He's read a total of 36 letters out of the 73. Her letters ranged from innocent happiness to a plea of wanting comfort. But despite the events she goes through, she never missed a single one of his games. 

Each letter ended just as sweetly as the last with her confession to him. Whoever this girl is, she's stronger than she realizes. She continued to come to school despite fighting with her depression. She passed every test with flying colors just like Kita. Kita feels anger within himself for not reading the letters sooner like Atsumu had suggested. 

If he had, she wouldn't have spent her first year alone. Not once does she write about spending a weekend with a friend. Her weekends consist of her staying by her moms side. Everything she does is not for herself but for others. She's too selfless and not selfish. Even these letters that she writes, it's not selfish enough. 

Kita lays down and rests an arm over his eyes. He exhales slowly with a heavy chest. There's unexplainable feelings that swirl around in Kita. Sadness, anger, adoration, and hopelessness. A few emotions he's aware of and some he's hardly felt before.

Snapping out of his mind, Kita sits up straight with a look of seriousness. He gazes at nothing specific in the dark spring night. He hates to admit it but Atsumu is right for once. Kita needs to read every letter he's received to find out who this secret admirer is. He wants to meet this girl and get to know her. Kita doubts his feelings will change by the end of the night but he shouldn't lead her on like this. He'd at least like to be her friend.