𝐿𝑒𝓉𝓉𝑒𝓇 𝓉𝑜 𝓎𝑜𝓊 | Kita Shinsuke x Reader

𓆩♡𓆪 9 | Is this love at first sight?

You check in at the front desk where the usual nurses greet you with warm smiles. "We were wondering when you'd come. Something held you back today Y/N?" The receptionist teases you when she takes the clipboard from you. You only respond with an awkward giggle. 

"Something like that. How's my mom doing today?" You change the topic not wanting to linger in your thoughts about Suna. The nurse forms a tiny smile and her eyes are full of endearment. You know from that look that nothings changed today like the many days prior to your visits. 

You quickly say goodbye and make your way down through two hallways to see your mom. A few nurses and doctors greet you hello as you walk past. It's odd for you to say that this place feels like your second home. You've seen these boring colored walls and cold hallways the last three years. You slow your footsteps in front of your moms room. Her name is on a plague that hangs in front of the door. 

Quietly knocking, you let yourself in. The temperature difference from your moms room and the cold hallway is huge. There's more warmth and light when you enter her room. The curtains are pulled to the side to allow the sunrays to shine inside. Your mom is sound asleep. 

She's fallen into a coma halfway into your first year of high school. The event occurred suddenly and without warning. But you've always made time to visit your mom to tell her your life. You're unsure if she's able to hear the things you say but you'd like to pretend she does. Your eyes glance over at the flowers you bought her two weeks ago. The petals have all nearly fallen off. 

You make a mental note to get her a fresh bouquet this weekend. Grabbing a chair, you sit beside her bedside. Delicately, you hold onto her cold right hand with your left. "I'm here mom. Sorry for being a bit late." You try to smile but seeing her closed eyes like this does give you great sadness. 

"The past two days have been super eventful. The guy I've been telling you about, Kita, he spoke to me. It was a brief interaction but he asked for my name." The corner of your lips tug into a smile. You feel your heart race as you recall the memory. "He only asked for his friend Suna but at least he knows I exist now."

You stroke the back of your moms hand with your thumb. "Speaking of Suna. He's the reason I was late today. I don't know what I did but he asked to be my friend. Weird, right? The only conversation I've had with him was an apology and a thank you for finding my pen. The pen you bought me as a good luck charm for school."

Your eyes rest on your mom's sleeping face. You wished to hear her talk back. She'll most likely be elated for you. "I guess it's better late than never that I'm making a friend in the last year of high school, right? He's not much of a talker though. And you know how I get when I meet someone I don't know. It's hard for me to be myself." 

Lowering your eyes, you stare at your lap. "To be honest, I've been feeling more lonely than usual. There's so many what if's on my mind. I started wishing I was someone else. A girl who's vocal about her feelings. A girl who grabs the world by the neck and claims what she believes is rightfully hers." 

Your voice dies out into silence. Your vision begins to blur from the oncoming tears you've desperately held back lately. This morning you had teared up in front of Suna but you refrained from bawling out. Now that you're alone with the one person you love dearly, you drop your guard. Tears trickle down your cheeks as your shoulders tremble. 

A deep frown paints on your face as you're sniffling to yourself. "I feel like I have so many regrets mom. Shouldn't high school be full of happy memories? All I have are memories of being in my own company. I can't even muster the courage to tell the guy I like my feelings. I've been a coward. Not only that...I wanted you by my side too."