This all feels unreal. You're constantly feeling like you're in a dream ever since the passing of your mom. The bright sun warming your skin still makes you feel cold. You're numb to everything. Food doesn't taste like anything but you continue to eat to not worry your grandparents. The world is just so dull. You wonder if you're even alive at times.
The chirping birds sounds too happy. Despite your world feeling like it's ended, reality tells you different. The Earth still rotates and school continues to move along like scheduled. You're sure there's plenty of homework you'll have to make up. Studying will be a pain as you try to catch up to the rest of your classmates. Who are you keeping your grades up for now? Should you even make the effort anymore?
Your once optimistic attitude is now full of negatives. Your legs feel like cement when you stop in front of the school entrance. Not a shine glows in your eyes when you look at the building in front of you. You have no drive to finish school. No one even missed you while you were out. You're sure your classmates didn't even notice your absence.
Or that's what you're telling yourself. Being so blinded by sadness, you forget the two constant people who have contacted you during your absence. "Y/L/N!" Someone calls out your name. A voice that feels so familiar. You don't even bother to look towards the voice when warmth envelopes your hollow shell of a body.
"Why didn't you tell me that you were coming back today? I would've walked you here." Suna's voice is so warm and kind in your ears. His hold on you is tight. That's right...Suna must've been riddled with worry from your lack of communication.
You curse yourself for being so negative. Suna pulls away to look at you from your lack of response. "Y/L/N..." Suna frowns when he sees your frowning expression. You ached to cry but you've done plenty of crying on your own already. Suna gently gives you a nudge forward.
Timidly you take a step forward to pass the school entrance. It's much harder than you thought to act as normal as possible. All you want to do is hide yourself and not interact with anyone or anything. But that won't do you any good. It'll be hard to get back into the swing of things. You're positive your mom and dad wouldn't want you to live such a depressing life for eternity from their passing.
You know this but the pain right now is so unbearable. Suna is making small talk but you hardly pay attention. You're just out of it. You mentally apologize and thank Suna for being by your side despite how unreactive you are. The two of you stop in front of your locker. You reach inside your locker like any other day to grab your indoor shoes but today something else sits in your locker.
Blankly you don't register what is in your locker at first. Suna tilts his head to the side when he notices a brightly colored sticky note. He gives your shoulder a bump with his. "Senpai, there's a note in your locker." You don't say anything as you pick up the paper between your fingertips.
The note says to meet at the gymnasium before homeroom. Your mind doesn't process the note at first. Your eyes scan the note over and over until your mind snaps out of your depressive state. That's when you find it hard to breath and your hand trembles. You turn to look at Suna wide eyed.
"W-What's this Suna?" You stammer out with nerves. Suna looks down at the note before returning his eyes on you. There's a tiny smile on his face as he chuckles. "I guess you'll find out when you go to the gym. Let's go." Suna grabs ahold of your wrist and you hastily close your locker. The tall boy tugs you along as your heart hammers against your chest.
You examine the handwriting on the note but it's not one you are familiar with. You're not one to stare at anyone's handwriting when you're busy keeping to yourself. The note isn't from Suna either based on his reaction. Unless he's acting. Suna slows his rushed walking when the two of you stand in front of the gymnasium doors. It's usually opened for early practice for any sports club. But with it being closed it's not open to anyone.
Suna weakly lets go of your wrist. His grayish-yellow narrow eyes soften when you look at him. The smile Suna wears is gentle yet painful to look at. He's definitely not the one who wrote this note to you. Even now, Suna refrains from telling you his feelings. You don't have the courage to pull it out of him either. "Good luck senpai. Tell me everything when you get the chance." Suna whispers.
You absentmindedly nod your head before looking at the closed gym doors. You're too scared to go inside. But Suna gives you a gentle nudge forward. "You shouldn't keep them waiting. They're probably just as nervous." Suna mutters. You turn to face the doors and swallow the saliva that builds in your throat. Timidly you reach out to the door handle.
You feel the anxiety crawling in your palms. Who's behind the door? You feel your chest tighten as you pull the door open. You hope this isn't a prank or something else terrible. That's the last thing you need.
Suna watches Y/L/N nervously open the door. His heart cracks the further he watches her disappear behind the door. The moment she's gone is when Suna breathes again. He forces his eyes shut as he clenches a hand over his heart. Suna mentally wishes the girl a goodbye along with his feelings to her.
The boy so desperately wanted to tell her his feelings but that will do nothing but confused the two. It's best for Suna to keep his feelings for her all a secret. Now it's Kita's turn to give her the kind of love Suna never will be able to. Seeing her blank expression today broke his heart. She lacked the shine she usually wears.
Happiness and comfort is everything Y/L/N needs right now. Unconditional love that she can no longer receive from her parents. No matter how badly it will hurt Suna, he will still devote himself to Y/L/N. But as a friend. He knows this will confuse his heart but there will be a day where Suna will love Y/L/N as just friends. He can't imagine completely cutting ties with her. She's a one of a million kind of girl.
Suna slowly opens his eyes and stares at the gymnasium door. He mentally wishes Kita good luck. "Sorry bud." A voice speaks up from Suna's right side. Suna jolts slightly when he sees Atsumu with a pained expression. The blonde haired boy rests his arm over Suna's shoulders.
"Sorry?" Suna murmurs under his breath. Another voice meets Suna's left ear. "You don't even realize you're crying." Osamu looks ahead while speaking towards Suna. The twins avoid looking at Suna to not make him feel more uncomfortable than he probably is now.
Suna reaches up to his face and feels wetness between his face and fingertips. He hastily wipes them away. "Say, wanna go to the new burger chain that opened up after school? My treat." Atsumu speaks cheerfully with a wide grin.
Osamu glares at his twin, muttering. "More like it will be my treat. I know you stole my wallet this morning 'tsumu." Atsumu chuckles loudly while squeezing Suna's shoulder in comfort. Suna lowers his head and furiously wipes the tears that won't stop.
"I hope you have enough money Osamu." Suna forces himself to speak between trembling lips. Osamu nods his head while ruffling the top of Suna's head. The three walk away from the gym as the twins bicker back and forth.
YOU ARE READING
𝐿𝑒𝓉𝓉𝑒𝓇 𝓉𝑜 𝓎𝑜𝓊 | Kita Shinsuke x Reader
Fanfiction✧༺♥༻∞ Kita is a boy who hardly expresses his feelings. It's not something he does on a regular basis. Kita's reaction to everything is to find the logic and reasoning. But what happens if the reason to his changed behavior is caused by emotions? Kit...
