𝐿𝑒𝓉𝓉𝑒𝓇 𝓉𝑜 𝓎𝑜𝓊 | Kita Shinsuke x Reader

𓆩♡𓆪 19 | Their inner thoughts

Kita replays his choice over and over as he slumps down on his bed. The silence of his bedroom eats at him as he's drowned by his thoughts. He so desperately wanted to be by Y/L/N's side. But putting her in an awkward situation will only make things worse. But distancing himself is only bettering Suna's position. 

Kita forces his eyes shut and roughly leans himself back against his bed. His hands clasp over his face as he screams into them. Why is this so troublesome? Kita has only himself to blame. If he only had read the letters sooner. If he had noticed Y/L/N sooner. If...

Kita removes his hands away from his face. His brown eyes stare up at the ceiling as his room casts a beautiful shade of orange and pink. Maybe for once Kita should act upon instinct. He shouldn't think too hard on things. That's only gotten him to where he is now. By himself while Suna is walking Y/L/N home. 

With a heavy sigh, Kita slowly sits himself back up. His eyes cast over to his desk. Kita stands up on his feet and grabs a sheet of paper and pen. Y/L/N's always wrote down her feelings. He should do the same. This time it's Kita who writes a letter to Y/L/N. 

🏐･ﾟﾟ･｡.

You can't get rid of Suna's painful expression from earlier this afternoon. You're staring at a blank page that you planned to write for Kita's letter. But your pen hovers as you're thinking about Suna. He remained quiet the entire walk, distancing himself from you. The corner of your lips frown slightly. 

There was this intense atmosphere between Kita and Suna the moment the two are within vicinity. Something must've stirred between them. You exhale and lower your pen. Casting your eyes to the right, you stare at your phone. You wonder if the two got home okay. 

From your years of watching over Kita, you know Suna and Kita share a bit of a rivalry to begin with. The two butt heads often on the volleyball court. But you don't know much more than that. Do the two even hang out after school? It seems impossible since Suna spends most of his time with you since becoming friends. Maybe the two just tolerate one another.

Your head begins to hurt when you try to think of their relationship. Reaching out for your phone, you send Suna a text. He's always one to be there when you needed him the most. Not once has Suna let you down since entering your life. He's genuinely been a friend you can rely on. The least you can do is be the friend he needs too.

🏐･ﾟﾟ･｡.

Suna tries to calm himself by taking a cold shower. Goosebumps litter his body as his ears fill with the sound of running water. Despite the temperature being on the coldest it can get, Suna still feels hot. His emotions are in a turmoil. Why did he have to cry in front of Y/L/N? Now he's only causing her more worry while he's unable to control his emotions. 

Suna stares at the drain as water trickles off of his hair and body. How many more memories is Suna able to make with Y/L/N before she's pulled away from him by Kita? Kita's glare and tone when it comes to Y/L/N has taken a 180. Suna hates to admit it but hearing Kita's threat when it came to Y/L/N sounded pretty cool coming from him. There's no doubt Y/L/N's heart would race if she heard Kita.

Her feelings she's carried for years will soon be returned. Suna should be happy for her. There's absolutely nothing more Suna wants than Y/L/N's happiness. But deep down Suna wishes he was the one that could provide her that pure happiness. He's always a step behind. Suna's always supporting. He's never the main lead. 

Just like his positioning in the volleyball team. As the middle blocker, Suna is relied on for support. While Kita who's the captain is looked upon. A leader who guides the team. The perfect person to be beside Y/L/N.  

Suna frowns when he jabs at himself further by comparing himself to Kita. It's hard for him not to. His heart aches and there's this uncomfortable pain within his chest. As if his heart is shattering into a thousand pieces. Before Suna spirals further, he hears a chime from his phone. 

He looks over to his phone that sits on the counter from the corner of his eye. The text is from Y/L/N. Just seeing her name light up on his screen makes him frown. Suna startles himself when he catches a few tears gliding across his cheeks. Love makes him so weak. 

How can Suna fake a brave face when he's around Y/L/N now? There will be a day where their closeness will drift. Can Suna bare the pain when that happens if he's already falling apart now? The boy silently cries as he grinds his teeth together to muffle out the oncoming sobs. He balls his hands into tight fists as he continues to be drenched by the showerhead.