𝐿𝑒𝓉𝓉𝑒𝓇 𝓉𝑜 𝓎𝑜𝓊 | Kita Shinsuke x Reader

𓆩♡𓆪 28 | Will she like this side of me?

Kita's heart is a fluttering mess. He's staring wide eyed at his ceiling as he tries to fall asleep. But he's unable to do so with how nervous he feels for tomorrow. Kita begins to backtrack and self doubt himself. His breath comes out staggered as he clutches tightly onto a pillow between his arms. 

Maybe drinking some chamomile tea will help him. He's sure there's some in the cabinets. Kita slowly sits up and gets out of bed. He's mindful to not make too much noise when he steps out into the hallway. Upon walking towards the kitchen he spots his older sister making a late night snack. Their eyes meet when she notices a presence entering the kitchen.

"Oh? What are you doing up this late Shinsuke?" Kita's sister whispers as she stirs the ramen in the boiling pot. Kita opens a cabinet and finds the chamomile tea he's looking for. He then begins to prepare the tea while muttering a soft response.

"I couldn't sleep." Kita stares at the pot before meeting his sisters eyes. "Guessing you're hungry?" Kita watches his sister nod her head with a soft giggle. She turns off the stove and carefully drains a bit of the water out before pouring the rest into a bowl. 

Silence fills the conversation. Kita takes his mug out of the microwave before it begins to beep that it's ready. He blows on the drink before taking a sip. "What's keeping you up?" Kita hears a slurp followed after the question. Raising his eyes away from his tea, Kita looks over at his sister who's eating at the counter instead of the dining table. 

Kita purses his lips, unsure if he should ask for advice from his sister. She'll most likely tease him before giving him any solid advice. But who else can he confide in? The twins? Suna? There's no chance.

The warmth radiates against Kita's fingertips as he cradles the mug. He inhales deeply before exhaling slowly. "Remember our last conversation?" Kita's voice is barely a whisper but thankfully his sister heard him. She nods enthusiastically. There's practically stars in her eyes as she lowers her chopsticks. 

"You found who your secret admirer is? Do you like her? C'mon tell me Shinsuke!" Kita's sister grabs him by the shoulders and rocks him back and forth. Kita groans with his eyes closed. 

"Yes and...yes." Kita grumbles out. He's no longer rocked back and forth as he hears a gasp in front of him. Slowly Kita flutters his eyes open to see his sister clasping her left hand over her dropped jaw. Kita clears his throat and continues to speak. "To not bore you with all the little details, I plan to confess to her tomorrow and I'm a nervous wreck."

The last time Kita felt nervous about anything is during last years volleyball game. The one that will allow the team to continue to even higher achievements. But these two kind of nervousness cannot be compared. One was for his team while this is for himself. Kita nibbles on his bottom lip, feeling anxiety swirl around him again. 

Kita takes a long sip of his tea before exhaling. "What are you nervous about? Is it the confessing part or something else?" Kita's sister speaks up after having calmed her shock. Kita refrains from looking at his sister in the eyes. His reasoning will sound stupid to her. 

Kita's lips open and close as he debates on telling her. But talking about it to someone will most likely ease his anxiety a bit. "I'm...scared I won't live up to the guy she's been admiring all these years. The way she describes me is someone I don't even know. But maybe that's because I can't see myself from another point of view." 

Lowering his mug on the counter, Kita runs his fingers through his hair. "She says I'm someone who's able to set a goal and achieve it. That I'm reliable. A great captain for the team. Someone who doesn't get nervous or afraid of difficult challenges. But...what about the side of me she hasn't seen yet?"

Kita clenches his jaw. He glares at the floor beneath his feet. "Will she like me knowing how much of a nervous wreck I am without her around? I'm so restless without her presence. And when she is around, I get these weird feelings I usually don't experience. This tingling happiness and warmth in my chest. The sudden flush on my face or even a tug of my lips wanting to smile like an idiot."

Words spew out of Kita's mouth. He hides his face with his palms as he feels his body beginning to tremble from fear. Love is terrifying. "I'm afraid I won't live up to her expectations. This part of me is weak and far from someone dependable." There's an ache in Kita's tone when he finalizes his thoughts. Not once did his sister intervene as he spews out all of his worries. 

There's a lightness in his chest when he explains everything that's bothered him tonight. The sound of footsteps approach Kita as he's enveloped in a warm hug. "It's okay Shinsuke. She'll love this side of you too. You're just worrying too much. Every human in this world has flaws." Kita's sister speaks in a gentle tone. She slowly pats Kita on the back in a comforting way. 

There's a drawled out sigh in Kita's ear as Kita's sister relaxes her shoulders. "You had me worried there Shinsuke. I haven't seen this side of you since the passing of our parents. You don't have to be so brave all the time. It's okay to lower your guard and be afraid or cry. If this girl truly likes you, she'll accept all of you."

Slowly Kita's sister pulls away to look at him. She flicks away a few tears from the corner of Kita's eyes. Kita didn't even notice the tears he had formed. "When you see her tomorrow just be yourself. Don't pretend to be the guy she's admired. Show her this sensitive side of you too. I'm positive she'll love you even more than you expect." 

Kita listens to his sisters words as he slowly nods his head. He feels a bit more relieved after their discussion. There's still a bit of nervousness but it's only the idea of having to confess to Y/L/N. He's sure the moment he tells her everything, the feeling will go away. Whether he's rejected or the feelings are mutual, Kita will be proud of himself either way.