Even When The Dead Is Walking. (Rick Grimes) {Wattys2017} *EDITING*

Chapter 15

Lately everyone has been staring at me weirdly, especially because of what happened with my brothers, my parents and I. I was perfectly happy not knowing where they were, I was happy still thinking that there was a slight chance of them still being alive.

I was walking around until Maggie called me into the house, I walked inside and saw that Maggie, Hershel and Patricia were all sat around the table. I sat down and let them discuss to me what happened with Beth.

"She went into shock." Maggie said, looking a little depressed about her sister being upset.
"We need to do our jobs and we were wondering if you could watch her, just to make sure she doesn't do anything suicidal." I nodded and went upstairs to look after Beth.

When I sat down next to the bed Beth immediately turned to me.
"Do you understand the pain that I am going through?" She asked me intently.
I nodded, seeing as I had lost my parents and brothers in one day, I had much more pain than her and sometimes I thought about suicide, but I never took myself seriously.

"Of course I do! I lost my brothers and parents in the same night." I said and she nodded like she was thinking about something, maybe a plan.
"Have you thought about suicide yet?" She asked me. I nodded, I wasn't exactly ashamed of this, I think that everyone would of done the same.

"We should do it together." Beth said, obviously talking about killing outselves. I sat thinking for a while, nobody would really miss me would they?
I nodded to Beth and we both went to the bathroom.

We went to the mirror and smashed it, when I say smashed it I mean I smashed it with my fist. I took a shard and brought it to my wrist.

I cut slowly, I might as well and Beth took a piece but she didn't cut as deep as I did, I guess she was hesitating. She would though wouldn't she? She has Maggie, Hershel and Patricia. I on the other hand have no one.

I started to feel dizzy and fell to the ground at this point, I heard someone start to bash the door down. I looked and saw Maggie barge in and look at us both with disappointment in her eyes. I didn't care though, I would soon be dead anyway.

--

I awoke in the same bed as I did when I got shot, I looked at my wrist and saw that it was all bandaged up. I looked around and saw the room empty, I guess everyone thought I was attention seeking by this.

I just turned over and pealed the bandage off, I scratched at the scabs that were already forming.
I made blood appear and I stopped, it was quite a heavy flow but Rick walked in and saw my bandages on the floor and my finger nails bloody.

"What are you doing!?" Rick shouted, he came over and put the bandages back on my wrist.
"You could of killed yourself with a silly act like that!" He shouted again.
"That was the point!" I shouted back with tears streaming down my face.

"Why?" He asked, I was a little unprepared for the question but answered anyway.
"I guess I thought I had no one left, because I don't. My brothers are gone, my parents are I have absolutely no family and I feel like it is my fault for leaving them. Then my son is dead because I couldn't save him, my abusive ex is probably still out there with how my luck is going and everything is just going wrong.
Why didn't you let me end it?" I asked him while sobbing.

"Because I need you." Rick said and kissed me. I was surprised by this action, I kissed back obviously but I just felt like I didn't feel needed.
"Why?" I asked him, throwing his question back at him.

"Because, I care about you." He said eventually.
I was once again shocked but I kissed him.

"I care about you too." I said.

--

My wrist stopped bleeding and we needed to get off Hershel's land.
I decided to use a look at the field and barn one last time, I was walking on the field when I heard a lot of groans. I turned around and saw thousands of walkers headed our way.

"Everybody has to leave now!" I shouted to the whole group. Some came to look like Glenn and Daryl and as soon as they saw, they immediately got everyone in the cars and out.

"Where is Carl and Rick?" Lori asked me, I shrugged my shoulders and looked around. At that exact moment I saw the barn burst into flames.

I ran over, Rick and Carl could be over there, I was running when I saw two silhouettes, one small and one quite tall. I ran towards them and saw it was Carl and Rick.

We ran to the house and saw Hershel with a shotgun shouting,
"My farm! I'm not leaving my farm!" Obviously we had to drag him away from it but in the process Patricia got bit several times.

We knew we had to leave her so we did and got in the cars, we all agreed to meet at a highway and make sure everyone was there.

--

We arrived and found out that Andrea didn't make it out. Which wasn't that bad for me because I didn't speak to her but it was a sad time, for everyone.

Thanks for reading Lilzi007.

Originally published 5th May 2015