Even When The Dead Is Walking. (Rick Grimes) {Wattys2017} *EDITING*

Chapter 18

I have been laying in my cell for a day or two now. People would just pass by an ask me to eat or drink something. None of them were successful, but I know that Rick won't ask because it's Rick, he is too stubborn. I have been grieving over Zac, I can't bring myself to eat or drink. I don't deserve to, I managed to promise to protect two children and both of them died.
Out of everything I miss Zac and my other son who died earlier on, Josh.

Those two were my happiness and now I have absolutely nothing to live for. What is the point? If Rick doesn't want to speak to me, I have no one.
All I have been able to think about is my gun. I can ask to go on a run and just kill myself as I get out of the gates.

I finally got up, my knees cracking due to the lack of movement in them. I walked toward Rick's cell and when I reached it I saw Rick on his bed just staring at the ceiling.

"Can I go on a run?" I asked, my voice cracking because I haven't spoken in 48 hours.
"No." Rick said and faced the wall.
"Why not?" I asked him, my voice slowly raising.
"Because I know you Millie." Rick said.

What is that supposed to mean?
"What do you mean?" I asked him innocently.
"You are suicidal. I know that you think you have nobody in this world but you don't understand. You have the group."

I sighed,
"You don't understand. Zac, Josh everyone I loved or cared about has either died or disappeared from my life."
"No they haven't you are just saying that because you don't understand that the whole group cares about you."

I felt a tear slip down my cheek. How could I be so stupid? The group loves me, and I was going to cause them more grief than what they already have just because I can't cope.

I saw Rick turn around and when he saw that I was crying he got up and wiped my cheek with his thumb.
"I'm sorry" I said and started to walk out until Rick pulled me back into his cell and kissed me. I was shocked but I kissed back.

Our lips fit perfectly together and when it ended we looked into each other's eyes.
"I never stopped loving you. But you keep risking your life and I can't stand to think about you dying." I stared at his eyes and kissed him again.

"I'm sorry, it is just that you being the leader of the group, it means that you can't die. If you died we would be lost, we wouldn't know where to go,what to do. If you died, I wouldn't be in this world." Rick hugged me and I hugged him back.

"Can we get back together? I miss you so much." Rick asked. I nodded and he hugged me tighter.

We laid on the bed, just cuddling until I drifted off into a deep sleep.

Originally published 14th June 2015