The Alpha's Goddess

Chapter 57

I can't believe I hurt him. All because I was being petty about him not talking to me for a while.

He has been my everything for so long and I may I have just lost him. Will he still love me? Will his little side be afraid of me? Will he even forgive me?

So many thoughts are running through my head right now. Sam and Hercules just finished showing me around La Push and where the treaty line is so I know where the Cullen's are not allowed to be.

I walk inside Ariel and Sam's house after my shift and see the guys sitting there.

"Um...am I allowed to see him before I head home?" I asked quietly.

"Yeah that's fine." Sam say leading me to where he is.

When I walk in, I see a white fabric wrap around him and a thin sheet barely on him since our temperatures run high.

I sit in the edge of the bed next to him and place my hand on his cheek softly while running my thumb across it.

"I'm so sorry baby. I didn't mean everything that I said. I was so hurt and angry thinking you ditched me and then with Bella annoying the shit out of me. Everything just kept piling up and I took my anger out in you. Literally. I'm so so sorry baby. Please wake up soon. I miss you and I need you so much. You are my everything Embry Call and a life without you isn't a life worth living. I'm gonna go home and I'll be back in the morning. I hope you can forgive me at some point. I love you so much." I whisper to him and kiss his forehead and cheek before getting up and walking out.

When I get home, it feels like my heart is being squeezed. I walk in and see dad is still up.

"Son, are you okay now?" Dad asked.

I just tear up and shake my head. "No. I think I fucked everything up dad and I don't know what to do." I tell him.

"Wanna talk about it?" He asks.

I sit down and let out a sigh while running my fingers through my hair. "Well first off, I am gay. You probably already knew that though considering how close Embry and I have always been. On top of that when I shifted I imprinted on him. But I am afraid that he is going to be scared of me and hate me for everything I have done to him since he has phased. I was so hurt when he ditched me that I called him a bastard, I was so mean and cruel to him. And for what? Because I let my own selfish anger get the best of me? I hurt him dad. Emotionally and now physically. I don't want to lose him but I think I already did." I finish with tears coming down my face.

"Jacob, it is going to be okay. It may be hard at first because we do not know how Embry is going to react to you when he wakes up. But now you know the truth of why he stayed away. By shifting yourself you can see how easy it is for your temper to get out of control and phase. We have made all the boys wait at least a week before going back into public in case their temper gets set off." He says.

"Why didn't you tell me about this stuff being real sooner?" I asked.

"We don't know which boys will shift or not. Your grandfather shifted but I did not. So we do not tell anyone in case they never phase. However, we started seeing the signs of you phasing. By how much you grew out, your muscles developed, your body temperature increased, and you got taller. Ariel and Embry approached the elders earlier this week about telling you about the legends because you are already an imprint, plus you are clearly phased. Do not be mad at Embry. It was his idea to tell you because he didn't want to stay away from you." Dad says.

"What do I do dad?" I ask him defeatedly.

"Give him time. When he wakes up be there and if he asks you to leave respect it because he may need some time to process it. Now, aside from Embry and the pack, how are you going to handle this Bella drama?" He asks.

"Uhg dad I understand Charlie is your bestfriend, but Bella is a bitch. I literally cannot stand her. She keeps inviting herself into my life and I don't want anything to do with her. She thinks she's entitled to everything and is just extremely annoying. She trashes Embry all he time and I cannot stand it. So if she shows up I am just going to tell her to go back to Forks because I don't want her here." I tell him honestly.

"I am proud of you son. Your mother would be proud of you too. And I also want you to know, that I don't care if you are gay. I love you no matter what okay? Always remember that." He tells me before wheeling off into his bedroom.

I decide to take a shower before going to bed. I take a cold one because my body temperature is so hot I just need cold on me. As I stand in the shower I keep thinking about Embry and hope he forgives me.

Once I finish my shower, I try off, put on some boxers and climb in bed and fall asleep quickly.

The next morning when I wake up, I had a text from Sam telling me to come over for breakfast. I leave a note for dad telling him where I am going to be. When I get to Ariel and Sam's, I walk in and see my sister.

The fuck?

"Uhh hi Rach. What are you doing here?" I ask

"Oh I live here with Paul. I'm his imprint and we stay down in the basement that's his apartment. I thought dad told you this?" She asks.

I shake my head no. "No, he only told me you were dating. I thought you went back to college after Christmas." I tell her.

"No. I am doing online schooling so I can help around here." She says. I just nod my head and see Ariel and Melody in her arms.

"Good morning Jacob. Sleep okay?" She asks me.

"Kinda. When I got home I stayed up talking with dad some." I tell her sitting down at the table.

"That is good. Listen, Embry is awake, but he has asked you give him some time before seeing him. He said he will come to you when he is ready." Ariel tells me.

I feel my heart break in fear he will never come to me, but I just nod my head. We soon began eating breakfast and the guys continued filling me in on everything that I need to be prepared for. I guess this is my life style now.