Don't Let Him Take Me

I know

(Amanda's POV*)

I sat there watching Maya, asleep, for three hours after she passed out. She had a panic attack. A bad one.

I start to notice her stir, and watch her carefully. Her eyes open and she looks at me. We did not need to go to the hospital so we are still at Carisi's house.

"Hey." I whisper hoping she is not scared still.

"I'm sorry." She whispered.

"No, it's okay." I whispered. "What happened at school?"

"They told me I am a slut for doing my dad." I said.

"Maya. You aren't a slut. You didn't want that to happen."

"But it did."

"I know, but I promise you, one day, it will be better." She slowly nodded and stood up. She looked at me and whispered "I hate myself."

Before I could stop her, she ran out of the room, past the bathroom where Carisi is showering, and right into the kitchen. I know what she is going for.

She grabs Carisi's gun that he left on the couch and holds it to her head. I take a step towards her, and she points it at me. I put my arms up.

"Maya, don't do this. Please." I say. I hear the shower turn off, and Carisi humming, and I know that he will be out here soon. He will know what to do. Because I don't.

"It's is the only way to get it to stop!" She says now crying.

"What to stop?" I ask.

"The pain. The pain of him being here. I hate it. I go to bed scared because he might show up."

"Maya, he is dead. He can't hurt you anymore. You are safe. The only thing that is making you not safe, is yourself." I said. She sighed. Then Carisi walked out.

"Maya?!" He exclaimed. "Maya, put the gun down." He said with his hands up and his hair soaked. She got the end of the gun, the part that shoots, and rubbed it on her temple.

"I don't know what to do." She said.

"I will help you. We will help you. Nothing bad is going to ever happen to you." He said.

"That's what you said before the trial, and look what happened."

"I wasn't there. I couldn't help you. But now these guys are in jail and can't hurt you." He continued to speak.

"Until the next perverted man comes along." She said like she made up her mind on what she is going to do. She put the gun to her head when Carisi dove onto her.

He threw the gun into the corner.

"Get off of me." Maya sobbed. Carisi got up and grabbed her. He hugged her as they both stood up. She tried to pull away, but his grip was to strong. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her closer into his chest.

She sobbed and sobbed and wouldn't stop crying. Her knees gave in and Carisi sat on the floor with her.

"Shh.... I know." He said as she continued to sob into his clean shirt. He picked her up and layed her on the couch. He pushed her over, and layed next to her. He wrapped his arms around her body, and she tucked right into the crack of the couch.

He made sure to hold her tight every time she would shake. And then she fell asleep.

And my heart is still pounding. Hard.