Into deception

Spiralling texts

📚
-Nicholas Pov-

2 days later

I stare at my phone like an actual idiot, all I have to do is text her an address and leave it at that, but no, I have to overthink it like always. Every time it comes to her I can't stop thinking, it's all I do nowadays, I twirl the tip of her blade scratching the top of the smooth surface of my desk, having something that belongs to her this close to me makes all sorts of things rise inside of me. Even if she killed me with it.

"Hey"

I look up from the table seeing Himiko at the doorways wearing nothing but a robe, it's see through and short, higher than the thigh itself, her white bandage tainted slightly red just below it.

"I thought you might want a break" her body continues to press itself onto the door frame waiting for me to say something, do something, I don't. when she see's that I'm not interested in the slightest she takes another approach "I can help you forget, I know I can" she strides closer and closer until she walking around my table, trailing her long nails across the dark wood before coming to a halt at my side, still I don't turn my chair to look at her, I have things to do and she's just not one of them.

"All you have to do is let me" I feel her hands grip the chairs arm rest pulling them so that I'm facing her now "don't you want me" her eyes glisten in the dim light as she looks at me "you know you want to so just let yourself Bane" she gets on top of me, slowly and carefully as if she's scared that one wrong move might set me off.

Once sat comfortably she smiles at me, her fingers brush up my chest and up around my neck

"Please Bane" she breathlessly whines.

Now who's all worked up, because it ain't me.

"Himiko-"

"Yes" she groans like I've already touched her, her breathing becomes static as she kisses my neck.

"Get. Off. Me" I say calmly but sternly.

Her body begins to slow until she freezes all together, she moves away from my neck looking at me to see if she heard right. Her lips are red, her red hair messy and all over the place but her eyes are pissed and that's for sure.

"What are you saying"

"I'm saying this isn't going to happen, not now and definitely not ever"

"Why NOT" her heightened voice yells "why am I never good enough for you" this time her teary eyes fill a little too much and a tear slips down her cheek past her red lips.

"Cut the shit Himiko" I say not in the least interested in yet another one of her shows, when I stick with my words her whole appearance changes just like I knew it would, just like it always has for the past few years now.

She scoffs getting off me and sitting on my table instead, her attention fully fixtured on the bandage that's turned red "it's because of her isn't it"

"Himiko that's enough"

"It is isn't it, I can't believe it after everything's she's done" this time she gets up storming away, her bare feet hitting hard against the ground.

"After everything's she's done?" I ask standing up from my chair, she spins around making her hair lift with the force "and what has SHE done Himiko?" I warn.

"Are you kidding me" she laughs staring at me.

"Do I look like I'm kidding" I stand still, not a single drop of humor in my bones right now.

Her features dim and the smile that was just there is swept away.

"When we found you-"

I scoff right as she started the sentence with 'we', it's always the same shit with her.

"Bane" she sternly says "when we found you, you were nearly dead, if anything you were dead. We took you in and tried everything, drug after drug, operation after operation but you just couldn't pull through, you died 3 time in the span of one week"

The gun on my waist grows heavier the longer I look at her.

"If it wasn't for that women and her deal we would've never gotten that pacer and you would've been dead, that machine in your heart should be enough to remind you of what she did to you, Bane she fucking killed you"

"Himiko leave, now" I don't look at her, if I do I'll shoot her fucking dead right here right now and carry on with my evening as if nothing ever happened.

"She doesn't care about you, I bet she's out there right now on her knees for some other- "

The gun is in my hand before I can even register it and when I do I'm already pulling the trigger watching as the bullet races past her head. She dives to the side just in time letting the metal tear through the door instead, disappointment, that's what surges through me as I scold myself for missing on purpose. What a waste of ammo, what a waste in general.

She breaths out, half from shock but more so as her stitches tear wider, the blood trickles past her bent knee joining the few drops that have already settled into the wood.

"Next time, I'll cut into pieces instead of waisting fucking bullets" I look down at her as she looks at me, nothing but anger inside her eyes but without another word she gets up limping to the door before slamming it shut behind her. I stare at the bullet hole in the door and wonder to myself, not about what she said but still about texting Mia. After everything that was said that's still all I can think about, I sit back down placing the warm gun on top of the table where she was just sitting moments ago and look back at the phone.

I pick it up unlocking it till I'm staring at her name right above the keyboard, my hand lands on my chest feeling the large scar she left behind, Himiko is right about it being a reminder, just not how she thinks, every time I see it or feel it I simply smile like a mad man.

I begin to type pushing all my thoughts away, a second later she texts back, I didn't think she would.

Me : I found him, he's having a gathering at the royal casino near Ender street. (Read)

Mia : When?

Me : Tonight 12. (Read)

There's no release, nowhere to put this agonising feeling of her not being next to me. I can still feel her absent touches from all those years ago, it never leaves me no matter how many moons have past, how many stars have fallen since then. Her burning touch has tattooed itself under my skin, under every new and old atom in my body and I never want the ink to fade.