Hidebound

Chapter FiftyThree

Its been a couple of days since the car crash that took Amos' life and it had eventually made its way around town as reporters on the TV covered it. I still feel uneasy about it, like this isn't the end of Amos and Ace even though it was the end of Amos' life. Something sits heavy in my gut telling me not to get too comfortbale yet and I can't shake it.

As for Hex, he hasn't let on to any similar feelings and has proceeded to do everything in his normal day-to-day life as usual. If anything he's been more carefree and less paranoid about our safety in and outside the house. I chalked it down to the fact he knows Amos is dead and Ace is stuck in the hospital, both unable to get to us.

"Pollar's son currently remains in hospital in a stable condition."

I swallow down the lump in my throat, I side eye Hex next to me as we sit in the waiting room chairs. His hand makes its way onto my knee when he feels my stare.

I look around, hoping to distract mysef from the TV as the news continue playing in the background. Elderly people surround us, waiting in chairs like us as they wait for their turn to visit their loved ones. Seems we're the only young people here and it just reinforces the fact that Wyonna is truly too young to be dying of such a horrible disease.

Hex blows out a breath next to me, getting impatient. "I shouldn't have to wait to see my own mother" he mutters under his breath as we watch other people come and go.

Unbeknownst to us, today is one of the busiest days at the hospice. We'd had no clue until we walked through the doors and everyone was waiting in chairs. Apparently the health and safety proceedings of a hospice is much more complicated then at the care home. Makes sense I guess, there's a lot of sick people here.

"Wyonna Rose" the receptionist calls through the waiting room. Hex stands immediately, eager to leave the room as he pulls me with him by my hand. "You're free to go in" she says a we pass the desk with a smile that reads sorry. Hex grunts without even looking in her direction.

"Thank you" I reply as Hex drags me along, my smile reading sorry too in regards to Hex's attitude.

I didn't except to find myself here today. The last thing I had expected to hear out of Hex's mouth today was him expressing his desire to see Wyonna. Its a Saturday and I expected for us to spend it how we do every other Saturday; at home. I had been so shocked when he rolled over in bed and opened his  mouth this morning that the only answer I could give him was a nod of my head.

And when I asked if I should invite Harley, Hex disagreed firmly with a shake of his head stating that he wanted to spend time alone with his mother with the exception of me in the room. I have an odd feeling about how this is going to go. On previous visits to see Wyonna Hex had sat quietly and let Harley take the lead as he observed the room and Wyonna; only answering when directly spoken to. As for Wyonna she doesn't speak anymore. Whether she recognises us or not; this meeting is going to be a very awkward and silent one.

"Fucks sake" Hex grunts under his breath when a team of people suddenly appear from a door in front us, causing us to nearly run into them.

"Sorry" one of them apologises. I can't help but notice the bags of belongings that gather at the door and instead of filling the room with them, they seem to be packing them up.

I gulp, looking into the sterile room someone has just died in.

Hex doesn't look inside but I can feel his heart racing and he very clearly knows what has happened in that room and every other room in this place, the resident of each room will eventually lose their life; including his mother.

The halls wind and curve and seem to go on forever, the depression starts to fill the air around us. I don't know how Hex manages it but he somehow remembers where Wyonna's room is located even though he's been here less times then I have.

His hand has tightened its hold on mine with every corner we turn and his anxiousness is starting to seep into our bond and into my body.

We arrive at a door and with a quick look at the infomaion slip that hangs by the door we confirm that this is Wyonna's room.

Hex barges in without a second thought and without knocking.

I tug on his arm to stop him from going inside. Even though Wyonna has lost the ability to talk, its still better we announce our presence instead of just walking in with no warning. But Hex doesn't take note of me pulling and closes the door behind us.

Wyonna's very clearly sleeping and hooked up to wires that monitor her vitals when we lay eyes on her.

"Maybe we should wait outside until she wakes up" I quietly suggest but Hex is already pulling a chair from the table and taking a seat.

I gulp, maybe we should have brought Harley, she would know what to do. Do we wake her? Or let her wake herself and then get a freight when she sees us in her room? Either way she won't know who we are.

I take a seat across from Hex, my eyes watching him as he sees the photo of himself, Harley and Wyonna when he was young. His stare turns hard and unblinking as he proceeds to have a staring contest with the photot from his childhood. I can almost see the memories running through his head.

A knock at the door breaks his stare. It wakes Wyonna too and the shock of seeing people in her room doesn't register with her. I expected a startled jump, maybe a look of fear in her eyes but there's nothing and that's almost worse.

"Oh sorry to interrupt, I just need to check Ms. Rose's vitals" the nurse waits by the door, looking to Hex for some kind of permission to enter the room. He has nothing to say, he's not even looking at her and has turned back to the photo frame.

"Go ahead" I mumble with a small, encouraging smile. She thanks me with her eyes and makes her way into the room.

I watch as she checks things I don't understand while Hex refuses to look. Wyonna is awake but there's nothing behind her eyes. she doesn't recognise us, she doesn't even care that she doesn't recognise us. Her decline is moving fast now and I know she doesn't have much longer left, its in her face, the skin that was once youthful is now a pale grey and her eyes are sunken. She lies under a blanket that hides a deteriorating body of skin and bones.

I look away when the nurse checks her feeding tube.

"Thanks guys, have a good day" the nurse says as she exits the room, another smile displayed on her face. It's disturbing that she's smiling, even if its meant in a friendly way. Its clear that Wyonna isn't going to be here much longer and she knows that but she's so used to the tragedy of death that it fails to impact her anymore. She's used to it.

I wait for Hex to start to converse with his mother but he can barely bring himself to look at her and I start to wonder if it was a good idea to come today after all.

Wyonna doesn't move, except for her eyes that move around the room, taking everything in like she hasn't seen any of it before and doesn't spend everyday waking up and going to sleep here.

I keep quiet, Hex may have brought me along but this is between mother and son.

Wyonna's eyes finally settle on Hex, eyeing the side of his face as his elbows rest on his knees and his hands fists under his chin. He must feel her eyes burning into him because he finally looks away from the photograph and faces his mother.

My leg jumps, wanting to move closer to him and hold his hand, rub his back, touch him somehow and comfort him but I don't move.

No words are spoken but for two minutes the two look at each other, their eyes connecting and speaking the words that their mouths won't. Its intense and for the first time in a long time, it looks like Wyonna is understanding everything Hex is telling her. Her gaze takes on a sorrow and guilt ridden look, its enough to bring tears to my eyes.

She's still in there.

But the moment breaks far too quickly as her eyes return to the vacant, faraway look that fills them most of the time. It breaks Hex from the eye contact too as he tears his gaze away. His leg is bouncing as emotions rapidly fill him.

"Hex" I call when he stands without any further look at her mother.

"Let's go, baby" he reaches out his hand behind him for me to grab as his voice cracks.