Hidebound

Chapter SeventySeven

The doors to the hospice are locked when we arrive. Hex had pulled on the handles and they hadn't opened, much to his annoyance. He nearly put his fist through the glass in order to open it but I pushed him out of the way just in time.

The drive had been a silent one with Hex looking out the window most of the time even though it's still dark and nothing can be seen. The streets were empty and the carpark of the hospice was even emptier with the exception of Harley's car parked right next to the entrance.

I wonder when they got here?

I had quickly shot mum a brief text message about the current situation and Wyonna's condition on the short walk from the car to the entrance of the hospice and she had responded immediately, making me feel bad for leaving her in such a panic.

I give the door one last pull and when it doesn't open, I loudly bang on the glass, not caring who I bother. I only have to do it once to have someone hear me.

An older nurse rounds the corner to my right, crows feet near her eyes and her face pulled into one of disbelief; disbelief that we were being so loud and rude at this time in the morning but I couldn't care less.

She unlocks the door with a click and I know she's about to let us know just how much she truly doesn't appreciate our noise as she takes up space in the doorway.

"Excuse me-" her voice rings in my ears but I push her gently out of the way and cut her off. I pull Hex along by his wrist behind me as she holds the door open for us in shock.

"Thanks" I mutter quickly and walk in the direction of Wyonna's room before she can stop us.

"Hey!" She calls but we're already out of sight.

I grab Hex's hand instead and he walks by my side, his pace picking up once we lose the nurse.

His hold tightens as we near Wyonna's room and I can almost feel his heart beating out of his chest as his hand turns sweaty in mine.

We come to the final corner before Wyonna's room is revealed and my legs start to feel like jelly. I don't know how Hex is holding it together so well, there's no physical sign that he's in utter turmoil and I can't help but admire him for it.

My knees nearly buckle completely as we turn the corner but Hex's grip keeps me upright.

Harley is nowhere in sight but Banks is leaning against the wall outside of Wyonna's door. His leg is resting up against the wall and his arms are crossed as he looks at the ground; there's no doubt he can feel Harley's grief and by the look on his face; he doesn't know how to handle it or help her.

He hears our steps and looks up, remaining expressionless.

A silent greeting passes from Banks to Hex as they shake hands, a silent word passing between their eyes, although I'm unsure on what exactly it says.

The respect in each of their eyes speaks volumes.

I initiate a hug with Banks before stepping back.

"Harl's in there" he points over his shoulder at Wyonna's door as he side steps slightly to reveal more of the doorway. "Go ahead, I've already been in."

Hex pulls me along, intending to take me with him as he places a hand on Wyonna's door.

"Maybe... maybe I should stay out here" I whisper as Banks pretends to not hear us. Hex looks at me over his shoulder, his expression remaining blank as he tugs again and opens the door.

I swallow the vomit rising in my throat and step in after him on shaky legs after being left with no choice.

The soft sobs from Harley fill my ears immediately and I can't bring myself to look up from the floor. I don't want to see her upset and I don't want to see my mother-in-law in her last moments of life.

I don't want to see somebody die.

Hex stops in front of me just inside the door as it closes behind me, the gust hitting my back. I don't know if Harley knows we're here but neither of us announce our arrival.

I stand slightly behind Hex and rest my forehead on the back of his forearm, hoping to offer some sort of comfort but also because my heads feels heavy.

The room is filled with only the shallow, slow breaths of Wyonna. Not even the machinery beeps can be heard and it sets in that they've taken the lifesaving equipment off of her. 

Hex squeezes my hand tightly and it gives me the final courage I need to glance up and when I do the rest of the air in my lungs is stolen.

Wyonna lies in her bed, a look of peace on her white, almost grey face. Her lips are tinged blue and her eyes are closed. She had been adjusted before we had got here because her hands are folded neatly on her lap and her hair is brushed, the curls lay around her head like a halo. She almost looks like how she once did, minus her pale and frail body.

Hex lets go of my hand and takes a step in Harley's direction. Then another and another.

"Mum" Harley whispers as she holds Wyonna's hand, lacing her fingers between her mothers and spinning the bracelet that adorns her wrist.

My heart hurts as I watch her try and talk to her unconscious mother. I have no idea if Wyonna can hear us but there is no chance of her verbally responding.

The floor creaks under Hex's feet as he stands behind Harley with his arms crossed. His back is to me but I can see the staggered breaths he struggles to take as he views Wyonna over Harley's head. I think the sight shocks him more than he thought it would.

It's only when he places his hand on Harley's shoulder does she look over her shoulder at him. Her eyes are rimmed red and not an ounce of makeup rests on her skin. She's still dressed in her pyjamas and her hair is held together with a claw clip. She had come as soon as she got the call, just like I had heard her rushing around when she had called me.

She's out of the chair so fast that she trips on the leg. Hex grabs her before she hits the ground and pulls her into him hard enough that he has to take a step back from the force.

Her arms wrap tightly around his waist as she begins to cry loudly, unleashing everything she had held in as it all comes crumbling down at the sight of her big brother.

"What are we going to do?" She wails and I see her tears marking Hex's navy shirt. His arms wrap around her much smaller figure and she hides her splotchy face in his shoulder.

My eyes move back to Wyonna as she blurs due to my own tears. They fall and I can't stop them, not that I try. I wrap my arms around my waist and put my weight on one leg, unsure if I should leave or not.

"I don't know" Hex answers Harley quietly and my head drops at the crack that breaks his throat.

I back up until my spine hits the door and then silently remove myself from the room without disturbing the siblings.

I look over my shoulder one last time at Wyonna and  silently thank her in my head for raising Hex into the man he is today.

And then I close the door.