Hidebound

Chapter SeventyFive

Mum had done a great job at distracting me from the time between me arriving at her apartment and the time we decided to go to bed.

We had ordered take out for dinner and watched bridesmaids on the TV as we ate. Afterwards we had talked over a bowl of ice-cream and not once did she ask about Hex or why I'm staying the night so unexpectedly. I don't voice it but I make it known that I appreciate it in other ways.

I tried my best to get information out of mum about Brian but she was keeping tight lipped. Although, she had hinted at the fact he's still around and I was glad she had taken my advice at giving it a chance.

And once I lay by myself in a cold, unfamiliar bed is when I allow myself to cry. The moment my head hit the pillow, the day had come flying back to me, along with the anxiety and fear that had tied itself to my relationship. This is the second night in a row I'm sleeping without Hex, I had barely had any physical contact with him and the only verbal conversation we'd had resulted in an argument.

Not to mention I feel guilty for today; nothing happened between West and I but Hex had obviously felt differently and it's eating away at me.

I feel sick to my stomach as I curl in on myself. My damp pillow starts to stick to my the side of my face and I smother my mouth so that mum won't hear the sobs that want to escape.

I miss Teddy, I miss my bed, I miss Hex. I miss the way we were before everything started to change. I know deep down in my soul that everything will turn out fine, that my relationship with Hex will progress forward because we're Darling's; soulmates made for one another, but at the moment it feels like everything is falling apart and the more I push instead of give in, the worse it gets.

The thought sends a stabbing pain to my heart and a moment later my phone vibrates on the night stand as it rings.

I answer it without a second thought, I know it's Hex and I don't care if it makes me appear weak but I need his comfort at the moment, even if it is only his voice. If I don't get it, I know it'll only be a matter of time before I'm crawling my way back home.

"Baby" his tone is soft but his voice cracks, and no matter how hard I try, I can't stop the whimper that escapes me. He had called even after today and it means more to me than I can even explain.

I keep quiet and lay the phone down beside me, the bright lights hurt my already sore eyes as I dab them dry and attempt to stop the tears but it doesn't work.

Hex says nothing as he listens to me cry. My hand moves from my heart to my brand, Hex's agony as he listens to me weep seeps through our bond, it only causes a sob to escape loudly on my end.

"Baby, please" he pleads, his voice cracking again. His voice sounds different and even though he tries to hide it from me, I know he's on the verge of crying.

"Come home, please Poppy, I need to-" his voice cracks and he takes a moment to respond once he clears his throat "- I need to touch you." My eyes squeeze shut and my hands do the same because I know how he's feeling. The indescribable pull to go to him, to touch him and smell him is like that of an addict. I need him to function. It's only been less than forty eight hours since we've properly held one another, we couldn't even go this long while he was incarcerated and I was working at Hellbound.

But I can't give in tonight.

"Not tonight, Hex" I whisper and sniffle to stop the snot that wants to run from my nose. "Not tonight. We need space, okay?" My voice cracks again but I'm so far past the point of caring that I don't try to hide it anymore.

"No, Poppy!" I flinch at the pain in his raised voice. He's audibly upset now and I have to cover my mouth to stop another sob. "Please baby" he brings his volume back down "I'll pick you up right now."

I hear the jiggling of keys in the background as he picks them up.

"No Hex" I inhale a deep breath. "It's just one night, I'll be back tomorrow. We've been apart longer."

"That wasn't by choice, Poppy" he's right, this is the first night that by no one other than by my own accord we're sleeping under different ceilings.

I don't have an answer for him as my throat chokes on nothing but emotion that's trying to pour from within me.

Everything in me is screaming at me to go to him, that everything will be okay if I go home and lie next to Hex instead of being by myself in a cold, unfamiliar bed but it's probably unsafe for me to be driving in this condition and not to mention mum is asleep. I can't leave without telling her and I can't wake her; she has work tomorrow.

I have work tomorrow.

Hex blows out a harsh breath like the reality has set in for him; I'm not coming home tonight.

"Okay" he whispers. My eyes widen in surprise, causing them to sting. Okay? He's not going to fight me any further until he gets his way? He's not going to ignore me and come get me anyway?

It must have really sunk in that I'm tired of being pushed about and maybe he's finally getting it.

Neither of us speak another word. I hear Hex move about before he settles again but he's not in bed, I don't hear the spring in the mattress that makes a noise whenever one of us move. It makes my heart sink again knowing he's not sleeping in our bed.

"Did you lock the door?" I whisper quietly and wipe my face clear of left over tears. I can barely keep my eyes open, they sting and are swollen. I have no doubt that if I look in a mirror they'll be red... but even in this state I can't ignore the gnawing concern that Hex is home alone and Ace Pollar is still out for revenge.

"Mhm" he hums softly. It's late and both of us are emotionally exhausted.

I allow for us to hear each other breathe for five minutes and it calms me. I know it calms Hex too because I can't feel the heaviness from his emotions on me anymore. But when my mind starts to daze off I know it's time to hang up.

Falling asleep on the phone isn't the time apart we need; no matter how much I want to. If we need time apart we're going to do it properly otherwise nothing will come out of it.

"Hex" I call softly without opening my eyes. My hands curl into the sheets and I imagine it's Hex's shirt as I pull him closer to me in the cold bed.

"Mmm" he hums again and I know he's relaxed and in the same daze like state I am.

"I'm going to go now" I whisper, waiting for the refusal and kick off.

It's quiet on his end and I almost fall asleep waiting for him to answer, his calming breathes lulling me into a light sleep.

"Okay" he whispers back. It would have shocked me more if I wasn't so tired and already half asleep.

I don't even hear him end the call because I'm already asleep but I dream of him.