Hidebound

Chapter EightyFive

My mind is foggy as I step into formal pants. They're itchy on my skin and I feel constricted and trapped. I want nothing more than to change back into Hex's shirt that I had been sleeping in.

The heels that I'm meant to wear are even worse though and I only take a few steps in them before taking them off and putting on sneakers instead. It doesn't matter how I dress right? Its not my court appearance.

"Time to go, honey!" I hear mum call from the kitchen. I don't answer her but quickly twirl my hair up into a claw clip and exit my room.

Her eyes scan me when I enter and they stop on my shoes but she doesn't say anything.

Her dress is navy in colour and she looks much more presentable than I do.

"Ready to go, ladies?" I jump, not expecting anyone else to be here.

Brian is dressed in his usual suit and tie as he stands in the doorway. He looks awkwardly between mum and I and I don't miss the lingering gaze he looks at mum with. It makes me sick.

"Oh honey, I forgot to tell you. I asked Brian to drive us is-is that okay?" She's still tiptoeing around me but its not annoying me the way it was previously. I feel indifferent towards it, just like everything else.

"Yeah" I nod. I see her relief and the guilt hits me. Brian hadn't been around much since I had started living with mum and I had begun to wonder if mum had broken up whatever their relationship stasis was but now I can tell that she had kept him at a distance. "Thanks Brian" I mumble and make my way towards the front door. Mum and Brian scuffle to gathers things we'll need before following after me.

The drive to court is a blur but when Brian parks in front of the entry and waits for us to get out, all the emotions come rushing back to me.

Its the same courthouse that had let Hex off on the assault on Jacob, but I know we're not going to be that lucky this time.

I can't help but compare the way I feel walking into the courthouse doors compared to last time; I felt hope growing in my chest with everyone around me telling me about the odds of the outcome but this time there's nothing but dread. This time I know he's going away and I know he's going away for a long time.

"Poppy?" I blink out of my thoughts and look up at mum as she holds the door open for me. I hadn't even realised she had got out of the car and opened my door. I look up and make eye contact with Brian in the mirror. "Are you okay, honey?" She presses her palm to my forehead but I push it away gently and take my seatbelt off, getting out of the car.

My legs feel weak but I straighten my spine and lift my head, hoping to trick myself into feeling confident.

I briefly hear mum and Brian talking behind me about how Brian will drive around until court is done and then he'll be back to pick us up but my attention has switched to Harley as she stands in front of the courthouse doors, waiting for us.

I hear Brian's car pull away from the curb and mum loops her arm in mine before we walk up the steps of the courthouse. There's too many and I have to grab the railing to steady myself.

"Hi Poppy, how are you?" Harley mumbles in my ear as she envelopes me in her arms. I hadn't noticed Banks before as he stands behind her.

I leave the three of them to greet each other and I walk through the doors of the courthouse. Everything feels grand and expensive and I hate it.

I look over at the room that held Hex's first court appearance and do a double take when I see the man standing by the entrance.

"Charlie?" I call to the back of his head but I already know its him; his distinctive look making it easy to identify him.