Hidebound

Chapter SeventySix

I'm drowsy when I answer the phone for the second time tonight. My mind is still half asleep and for a moment I think it's my alarm telling me to wake up until I remember that I hadn't set an alarm.

"Hex?" My voice cracks as I sleep and the thick, dry feeling that occurs in the back of my throat irritates me.

It's a miracle my phone had even rung; I hadn't put it on charge before falling asleep and the under twenty percent red can be seen when I squint.

"Poppy, oh my god, hello?" Harley's frantic voice echos in the room, far too loud for my ears that have just woken up. But her tone makes me sit up as I wake with new-found panic.

"Harley? What's going on? Why are you calling me?" I pull my phone away for a moment to check the time and see it's well into the early morning hours.

"Poppy, are you with Hex?" She asks, her voice on the verge of tears as I hear her frantically moving things around in the background while Banks talks to her but I can't make out what he's saying.

"No, no I'm not. What's going on?" I have a slight idea of what's going on but I don't think about it anymore, not wanting to manifest it.

I throw the blankets off me and stumble to my bag, pulling on clothes that don't match and shoes that I shouldn't be wearing inside but I don't care, I just need to get to Hex.

"It's mum, Poppy" I can't breathe "the hospice called; its time to say goodbye" she releases the first sob and my body goes numb. "I called Hex but he hung up, you have to get him; I have to go to the hospice." Her voice pleads and I draw in a shaky breath. "I'm scared he'll do something stupid" she whispers and I hear a door slam in the background.

"Okay, okay" I quickly gather my phone and keys, leaving my bag behind as I jog down the hall to mums room. "I'll get him and meet you at the hospice." Harley hangs up without a goodbye.

I enter mums room louder than I intended and scare her awake as she rips off her eye mask.

"Poppy! What in gods green earth!" She holds her hand to her heart when she sees me in the doorway.

"I've got to go mum, I'll call you later" I quickly rush out as I kiss her cheek and tell her I love her. She tries to grab my hands but I pull hard and she releases them.

"Poppy! What's going on?" She demands but I'm already half way to the front door.

"I'll call you!" I shout down the hallway and then I exit her apartment.

It's cold outside, the wind chilling me and it's only then I realise that I had put a shirt on instead of something warmer.

The cold instills something frightening within me. Something scary, a bad feeling, fear.

I can't afford to cry as I turn the ignition on in the car. I need to concentrate, I need to be safe while getting to Hex.

Safe, safe, safe.

Even though I had repeated the words to myself over and over again as I drove, I disobeyed them. I drove faster then I should have and I selfishly ran a red light at an empty intersection. My blood pressure was rising and my heartbeat was about to beat right out of my chest.

Hex is by himself with no support and no one to tell him to stop and think about his actions before he does them.

Scenarios run through my head ranging from holes in the walls to this finally being his last straw and hunting down the last Pollar.

There's no breath of relief when I pull into our driveway and find his car still there. He could have left on foot or he could be inside and our entire apartment could be torn apart, displaying the utter turmoil he feels inside.

I fling the seatbelt off me, surprised I had put it on to begin with and push open the car door. I slam it shut and can't even think straight enough to remember that I left the keys in the ignition and the car door open.

I nearly slip on the icy stairs as I climb them and I enter our apartment through the unlocked door. He told me he locked it.

"Hex!" I call breathless. I draw in wheezed gulps of air as I stagger from one room to another. The apartment is exactly how I left it, neat and tidy. There's not a sign of Hex anywhere.

I check the bedroom, the bathroom, the kitchen. He's no where, I can't hear him and there's no sign that he's recently been in any of the rooms, my heart drops into my stomach.

All the possible scenarios come rushing back to me and the fear that he could not only get himself in serious trouble or hurt, but the fear that he could miss the chance to say goodbye to Wyonna weighs heavy on my chest.

He's not here, I have to go look for him. I run from the kitchen and down the hall to the front door but I come to a stop at the entrance of the lounge room.

His back is to me as he sits on the couch, his head resting in his hands.

I don't know why I didn't check the lounge room first, maybe I did and I completely missed him; but there he sits, frozen.

"Hex" I whisper as I enter and stand in front of him. I drop to my knees hoping to see his face as he cradles it in his palms. The blankets and pillows on the couch from where he had slept are in disarray.

My hands hover, I don't know if I should touch him. Does he want to be touched?

But when I see his fingernails dig into the skin of his face I can't keep my hands from him any longer.

I cradle my palms over his, trying to stop him from hurting himself as I pull them away but he resists.

"Hex, baby please" I plead desperately. I don't know how much time has passed since Harley called me but it feels far too long. We need to leave for the hospice.

He says nothing, he's biting hard on his bottom lip and his nails still try to leave indents in his face.

"I'm so sorry, baby" I lean up to press a kiss to the backs of each of his hands.

I had left him alone on one of the worst nights of his life; what kind of Darling am I?

But I have to push that aside for now, there's bigger things at hand than apologising for how shitty of a Darling I am.

"Hex, we have to go to the hospice" I stand and grab his hand, this time he lets me pull it away from his face.

His cheeks have marks from his nails and he's white in the face; so white that he's almost grey and I worry he'll pass out if he stands up. But he's not crying and it instantly becomes clear he's in shock.

"I-I" he stutters, his eyes wide and his expression confused.

"Let's go" I say softly and encourage him to stand with a gentle pull.

He shakes his head and pulls his hand away. "I-I can't Poppy, I can't" he voice breaks but there's still no tears in his eyes as he stares past me.

I glance at the clock on the wall and note that it's been half an hour since Harley woke me and I become determined to get Hex to the hospice no matter how much he says he can't. I know the guilt of not saying goodbye will be far too great for him and I'd rather him be angry at me than for him to regret this.

"Harley called me Hex, we have to-" he cuts me off as I bend my knees and kneel in front of him but I nearly fall on my ass when he abruptly stands.

"No Poppy" his tone turns ice cold and he walks past me with his hands behind his head. He has no shirt and only track pants on his lower body, Harley must have woken him from his sleep too.

I stand, my heart aching for him but I need to get him to the hospice.

"Hex" I match my tone to his and I see his back visible tense. "Get in the car."

It's silent between us for a moment before he throws his hands down to his sides.

"Fuck!" He shouts emotionally. He snatches his shirt from the couch and pulls it over his head as he walks quickly to the front door and I follow behind him, our front door slamming closed behind us and I know the next time we open it, Wyonna will no longer be with us.