He's changed.
I see it from the way he looks now, his eyes dreamy, fixated anywhere but on my own, as if he was searching for someone in the folds of reality, as if he was missing something that has been stripped from him by none other than us.
He talks about her whenever Agiel isn't around. Not that my husband is back, it is only the leftover essence lingering in this world. An essence without a conscious mind. Belleth decided to rebuild a version of him based on his past. Kind of like an artificial intelligence. I know he is not the real Agiel, but he feels the same: in bed, in the kitchen, in our common torture room. His lips feel the same, his body has the same warmth.
I dream of him sometimes. My heart always aches after I wake up. Living with my husband's killer, I have no idea what to think, what to do. I love them both. Noah is my son, and I am sure he didn't do it on purpose. I'm not angry, I'm not resentful. I'm just sad, and I feel like the happiness that I once felt with Agiel will never come back.
I don't know why I'm doing what Belleth is telling me. Perhaps I'm looking for someone to hate, and it is the angels. It's always the angels.
Noah has changed.
He tells me about a world I never thought existed. He tells me about high school. A lot of child humans, wearing elegant uniforms, talking about their own crushes. Is this what he has been doing after running away? He tells me about this girl with long black hair and a crazy smile. When I ask who she is, he shuts me in with a guilty smile, and moves on to talk about Hitori.
Hitori Yuuki. What a sad name. Alone in the snow.
She sounds beautiful, from what he's telling me. He looked once in his right pocket, searching for something. Perhaps he wanted to call her. Perhaps fractions of his mind are struggling to get back to reality. I knew he wouldn't find it. We had taken his smartphone a long time ago. That Typhon bastard needs to stop helping people for the sake of fun.
He said she was born to kill, and I allowed myself to be happy for a split second, until he mentioned that she was an angel in disguise. I gasped, because why was he making friends with angels? He said it's just a metaphor. A comparison.
Noah never used metaphors.
She is a crybaby, he says, but when it really matters, she is very brave. She likes physical contact, but she blushes the moment she touches his hand.
His eyes are the strangest. I never thought they could switch colors so vividly, so suddenly like that. They used to be gray, blending so well with his pitch black pupils, resembling the calm slits of a predator before the coming storm of the hunt.
His irises become the ocean itself, when he talks about her. His cheeks turn red, his smile, the one thing I can never get tired of, is immortal on his lips.
Noah's smile is so rare that whenever I want to see it, I bring up the girl's name.
"Are you sure it was a bad dream?" I ask him.
He nods. "Hitori was the only good thing in it. Do you think she exists in real life? What if she does? Am I crazy?"
He is my son, and I love him. The fact that I've been raising a half-angel doesn't matter to me. No rules shall come in between a mother and her child. So I nod.
I want to see that smile once again. I want to see it in action.
"I'm sure she is" , I tell him. I caress his silky hair, noticing that it has gotten long, its edges reaching the bottom of his neck. Time flows differently in the Core after all. "Make sure to tell her how you really feel when you meet her, okay?"
He smirks. "I think I did, somewhere in the dream...somewhere green, with an infinite sky on top of us.." He seems to be deep in thought, then as he remembers, he puts a hand on his mouth and blushes so hard I think he might have developed an instant fever.
Are human children able to turn sick in a matter of seconds?
"What's wrong, Noah?" I ask him.
He shakes his head, a little too fast. "If she's real, I hope she remembers me. It would be weird if I talked to a girl out of nowhere, wouldn't it?"
Since when did he feel self conscious about other people?
That's how our afternoons went.
We always sat in front of the chimney, sipping orange-flavored tea, eating shortcakes and cookies, and talking about Hitori Yuuki, like it was the topic of the year.
I know this world is only a lie. I know I'm being a horrible mother. Lying to him like this, poisoning him with my tea.
I know I must stop this masquerade.
I can't. I don't want my days with Noah to end. I don't want my life to be threatened by Him either. This is the best course of action for both of us.
I wish this week never ended.
I wish Hitori Yuuki remained only a topic in a conversation, held under the dim lights of an antique living room.
YOU ARE READING
The Voodoo Doll
Fantasy[COMPLETED] Noah is a boy who was raised by demons all his life. He has the ability to commit perfect crimes by using voodoo dolls and killing with them. He was taught ever since he was young to show no mercy to his enemies. Yet, because of his unu...
