Chapter L: Memories of the Past

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A memory.

A warmth I have never felt before. Rays of sunshine dance on my skin, making my eyelids heavier. I drift off to a dreamless sleep while listening to the chirping of birds and the blowing of a gentle wind. The smell of the sea is so familiar in my nostrils. It floods me with relief, it pushes away my troubled thoughts.

I am loved, I am cherished by the person holding me.

I wake again, only to find myself in the same arms. She rocks me gently, afraid to wake me up. I can feel her love overwhelming me, nearly blinding me with its light.

Love like this can change the whole universe.

She sings to me, a lullaby in a language I do not understand. I reach my small arms to touch her face, she puts her index in my palm. It is as warm as her embrace.

I am happy.

My happiness does not last. Cold arms snatch me away from my bed. I start screaming. Let me go! Let me go! Where's mummy? Mummy , save me!

I open my eyes to see the culprit. He looks familiar.

He is the same man who came to me that night, who offered to find my past for me. He is my father.

He takes me away while everyone is asleep. He is my father, he does not mean any harm, so I try to sleep soundly in his arms.

He is my father. He does not mean any harm. It is just a nightly outing.

I will soon be back to my bed.

He takes me somewhere cold. Really cold. I scream again. No one hears me.

I listen. Listen for the sounds of the adults around me. Listen for the moment I can attempt to escape. I have recently learned to walk. Running will be a piece of cake, won't it?

"This is the boy" , my father says to a man whose face is eaten by shadows.

"No one saw you on your way here" , the man replies. It does not sound like a question.

Silence follows.

"Good" , the man adds. "He will be in good hands. He'll make a really powerful demon."

They're talking about someone. I have a feeling it's me.

"I shall disappear now, or Lailah will come for my life" , my father says.

"No fear. I will arrange a home for you, so the angels can't find you."

New arms grab me. Powerful, muscular arms. I want to be as strong as them, so no one can take me away from mummy, so no one can break mummy's heart ever again.

I am assigned a new mummy and a new daddy. They are also nice, but very strict.

I couldn't remember mummy number one before, but now I do. Mummy number two loves me too. She reads stories to me every night. Fairy tales. Strong heroes who save weak princesses.

I want to be a strong hero, I tell her.

You already are, she tells me. You are my hero.

The days go by. The years follow. My voodoo dolls are my only friends. They obey me when I utter the words, when I think of them. Dad brings me humans everyday, and I play with them and the dolls.

It's always funny when the dolls tell me what happens to the humans. The knife goes inside them, I go down the basement, and I see it is exactly what happened to the humans.

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