Losing Hope | {BOOK 4}

15| The Massacre and Metadouche

I was kneeling in the middle of the room, blood covering me from head to toe. The bodies of all the men littered the ground around me. The blade I'd used to murder them all sat in my hand, and a scream rang out from Claire as she and the boys came in and saw what I'd done. Cass pulled Claire against his chest, turning her so she wouldn't be able to look. Sam and Dean both put their guns away, Dean moving toward me.

"Ellie?" he asked gently. "Ellie. Hey."

He knelt down in front of me, green eyes searching mine as he took my face in his hands.

"Tell me you had to do this," he said.

"I didn't... I didn't mean to," I whispered.

"No. Tell me it was them or you!"

Sam and Cass were staring with horrified expressions on their faces as they looked from me to the carnage that was a mirror of my nightmare. Cass led Claire outside, Sam following, leaving Dean alone with me, the bloody bodies surrounding us. Dean's hands fell from my face as I realized what I'd done.

⁘

I sat on the edge of Dean and my bed, holding my right arm as I flashed back to all the people I'd killed under the Mark's influence. Rising to my feet, I walked over to stare at myself in a cracked mirror. I took several shaky breaths, then moved out the door, heading down the hall toward the library.

"Well, she thought he was kind," Cass was saying. "And for that, she loved him. Shows how little kindness there was in her life. You know, whatever Randy did, he didn't deserve-"

"No, yeah, I know. I know," Dean cut him off. "I hear you. Ellie has had to kill before. We all have. But that was-"

"That was what?" I asked, making my presence known.

"Ellie," Dean said, rising from his seat.

"That was a massacre. That's what it was."

I looked from my husband to Cass.

"There was a time I was a hunter, not a stone cold killer."

They both looked troubled as I continued.

"You can say it. You're not wrong. I crossed the line. Guys, this thing's gotta go."

I looked down at the Mark of Cain on my arm.

"That won't be easy," Cass pointed out.

"Well, then burn it off! Cut it off."

"It's more than just a physical thing. It will take a very powerful force to remove the effect."

"Ellie, we've been through all the lore," Dean added. "There's nothing."

"This reaches back to the time of creation," Cass continued. "It may pre-date the lore. If we had the demon tablet, maybe."

"But you said it was missing."

"It is."

Cass looked reluctant to whatever he was going to say next.

"There may be another way."

⁘

Dean and Cass left me behind while they went to the entrance to Heaven to get Metatron before bringing him back to the Bunker and putting him in the dungeon. Sam had agreed to take Maddie and Zep away again like he had while Dean was curing me. After letting Dean talk to him for a few minutes, I joined them in the dungeon.

"Ain't life a bitch?" Metatron smirked. "Nebbish-y little guy- me- always sticking it to the lunkhead jocks."

"You know what, screw the Mark," I growled. "Let's just kill him."