shattered soul [teen wolf]

[chapter fourty one] what happens in new orleans, stays in new orleans

'✧∘* ೃ ⋆｡˚.

Aires pov...

"How many times have you relapsed this summer, Aires?"

My eyes widened in alarm as I nervously shifted in my seat. "What?" I whispered in a shaky voice.

"How many times have you relapsed?" The faceless person repeated in a scarily haunting voice. "You know, since you killed them all?"

A bitter chill whipped through the air, smacking me in the face and bringing a small gasp from my lips. A rush of chills shot through my body as I slowly cocked my head to the side. Slowly, I narrowed my eyes on the faceless figure.

"I- uh... We weren't talking about that, we were discussing my sleep-"

"Do you blame yourself?"

Run.

Run now.

"What?"

"Allison Argent died at your hands. Aiden Steiner died in your arms. Sage Taylor took a bullet that was supposed to hit you. Derek, Cora, Braeden... Do you blame yourself?"

A bitter bile rose in the back of my throat as my hands tightened on the grip of the chair's arm rests. Goosebumps broke out on my skin as my whole body trembled. Suddenly, the room felt smaller, oxygen didn't seem to exist, and there was a voice screaming at me to run as far and fast as I could.

Frozen, I was sitting frozen just inches away from a faceless figure who was unnerving me. I couldn't scream. Couldn't move. Couldn't do anything.

Run. Run. Run.

"Do you blame yourself?"

I do. I wanted to scream yes, to nod my head frantically and say just how badly my chest ached. I knew what I had done, I could remember everything in exact detail. It haunted my sleep, my dreams, and was the only thing on my mind.

"You are supposed to be this 'Eve Witch', a powerful being, and yet you failed at saving the ones you loved most."

A hot tear slid down my cheek as an aching sob flew past my lips. I failed everyone, time and time again, I failed them. I was alive, when everyone else had died. I still had a beating heart when I shouldn't have. I escaped death one too many times. I wanted- needed the ache in my hollow heart gone.

I didn't understand how I was still alive- why it just couldn't be my time to go.

"Wait." I whispered whilst frantically swiping away at my tears. "Your... you're not supposed to know that."

I hadn't told them that- I hadn't told them anything.

They weren't supposed to know who I was, they weren't supposed to know that I relapsed, they weren't supposed to know about what I had done...

"You take drugs to cover up what hurts on the inside. You hurt yourself because the physical pain is better than the mental pain, more manageable. You kill everyone around you, and soon your going to kill yourself."

A sickening sensation hit me straight in the chest as I began choking for air. What, how, why?

Shut up. Shut up. Shut up.

Shut up. Shut up. Shut up.

Shut up. Shut up. Shut up.

My eyes quickly flickered around the room as I desperately searched for an escape. I needed an out, I needed to leave. I needed to run, to get out and far, far, far away. Angry tears burned into my cheeks as a frustrated scream fell from my lips. I couldn't move, no matter how hard I thrashed about and how much I willed myself to move, I couldn't get out of the chair. My entire body was paralysed.