Dreamcatcher Imagines - Oneshots | (Girl x Girl)

🐰🐼 My Comfort - Jiu & Dami

Jiu & Dami x Female Reader
8th member au
Status - Finished (1 part) ✅
Warnings ~ angst, panic/anxiety attack, self-deprecating dialogue, fluff ending

Requested by two different people

I had never considered myself an overly anxious person. In fact, I prided myself for how well I dealt with stressful or nerve-wracking situations, especially considering I was put into them often—being a kpop idol and all. The worst it usually ever got was sweaty palms and a rapid heartbeat that occasionally distracted me long enough to forget choreo at a fansign or trip over my words in an important interview. Never anything major.

Certainly nothing like this.

As I stood next to my members on a dark stage, taking my place before the performance began, this unavoidable dread hung heavy on my heart. I couldn't be sure what exactly caused it—maybe the exhaustion I'd felt after a year of nonstop shows and promotions, maybe the added pressure that came with greater recognition following our first win, maybe the constant hate being thrown at me that seemed even more frequent in the recent weeks—whatever it was, it made my body hyper aware of everything around me.

The hundreds of people with their eyes drawn on the stage where I stood, whispering and talking or even yelling and clapping. All with their own judgmental opinions of me and my members and our song and performance. The cameras zooming in, filming our every move, there to catch any mistakes and project it for the audience to see or record it for the world to replay over and over again for as long as they wanted, critiquing every little detail. The stage lights flipping on, shining a spotlight on me like an object to be ogled at, now overstimulating my senses and blinding me. Why was it so bright? Had these stage lights always been this bright?

My mind was racing with endless thoughts, never able to decide which one to focus its attention on. It was like flipping through a photo book without stopping long enough to take in one single picture. Just a never ending cycle of images and thoughts plaguing my brain when I should've been focused on the upcoming performance. But it only got worse when my brain seemed to process the clothes wrapped around my body. All the sudden they felt too small, too tight. I wanted to rip them off of me. They were suffocating, just like the lights and the people and the camera and quicker and quicker my lungs inhaled and exhaled, oxygen thicker and harder to breathe with every breath. Sweat beaded on my forehead and I soon felt lightheaded. My limbs all tingled with a sickly cool sensation and my mind grew foggy. The crowd in front of me started to waver and spin as the ground below me grew unstable. I wasn't moving but the room around me was. There was so much noise and silence all at the same time and my heart stung in my chest and pounded in my ears.

I couldn't even hear the music start, but it didn't matter anyways because I was clutching my chest and falling to the ground before I could ever move, the performance a complete blur to me. In that moment I had forgotten where I was altogether as black dots spotted my vision, spreading until all I saw was darkness. For a second I thought I might've passed out, and maybe I did, but the next I was being dragged off stage by two strong pairs of arms, secure around either side of my body with my own arms slung over their shoulders. All could do was weakly step in stride with them as they lead me somewhere backstage. My eyes were closed now, but that only made it worse.

My thoughts were somehow even more overstimulating than the surrounding environment. Once I had processed what just happened, they became less random and more intentional. More targeted. They scolded me for being so weak. So unprofessional. How could I just let something as routine as a performance overwhelm me? How could I let the opinions of those who didn't matter get to me? How could I pass out on stage in front of a live audience? How could I embarrass myself like that? How could I embarrass my group like that? I ruined the performance. I made my group look bad. I let my members down. I let the crowd down. I let my fans down.