Is It Worth It? // Colby Brock

Chapter 43 - How do we say goodbye?

The rest of the night with Colby was amazing. After our magical night in the jacuzzi, we got out and decided to shower quick before bed.

It all felt so normal. I was use to showering with another guy, so when I took his hand and pulled him into the shower with me, it all felt so normal.

Colby's eyes glistened as I pulled him in. He started kissing me all over as I ran my hands through his now wet hair. He looked like a little puppy dog.

We were in the shower for a while just talking, kissing, and hugging. Feeling the warmth of his arms around me in the warmth of the shower was my new favorite thing.
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"Should I order a pizza?" Colby asked as he dried his hair with a towel in the bathroom.

I was doing the same, I gave him an odd look and laughed a bit. "Are you hungry again already?"

Colby shrugged, "it's been a long time since we ate last."

I watched as he threw the towel he was using for his on to the floor and then he situated the towel that was around his waste.

I could see the distinct lines of his V line above where his towel sat and his happy trail, seeing this drove me crazy.

Colby leaned back on the sink with his hands as he waited for me to reply.

I smiled and threw my hair towel on to the floor too and walked up to him.

I re situated the towel that was around me and then ran my hands up Colby's chest and around his neck.

He smiled as he set his hand on the back of my head, pulling me into a kiss.

"Mmm" I heard him say against my lips. I could never get tired of this.

I pulled away from his lips, "I guess I could eat," I said softly as I gave him one more quick kiss, then let my hand run down his chest and abdomen before making my way out of the bathroom.

Colby ended up ordering a large pepperoni pizza from Dominos.

I had changed back into my over sized t shirts and short shorts and Colby threw on a pair of XPLR sweat pants to sleep in.

Once the pizza arrived, we jumped into bed with a few drinks and the pizza in front of us.

We decided to watch Impractical Jokers, it was the only decent looking show on on the hotel tv.

We were cracking up the entire time, as he both enjoyed a few slices of pizza and the drinks we had.

Colby had a few more white claws and I just settled on a Pepsi that I found in the complementary fridge.

It was almost 2:00AM when I felt my eyes becoming heavy.

I didn't want to fall asleep though. Falling asleep meant less time with Colby.

I shifted a bit to look over at Colby who was smiling at the tv. I felt him pull me close to him with his arm that had been around me for the last hour.

I studied his face for a while, and then I set my hand on his chest.

"Colby?" I said now.

"Hm?" Colby said as he stayed focused on the show.

I felt tears well up in my eyes now as I though about everything.

"How are we going to say goodbye tomorrow?" I said now as I scooted closer to him.

Colby glanced down at me, as he turned the tv down to where I couldn't hear it anymore.

It was quiet for a long time. I felt Colby's hand on the back of my head as he ran his fingers through my hair then kissed me softly on the forehead.

"What if we don't?" He said now breaking the silence.

I smiled to myself. I knew there was no possible way. It was like being with him last time. He wanted me to stay in Cali with him but that wasn't possible.

It's not possible this time either.

I had to get back home and start my normal life again. But it would only be a week until, I started aching for Colby again. Not just sex with him, but just being with him.

I needed to be with him. I felt happier than I have in so long when I'm with him. I needed to feel his touch, his lips. I needed more conversations with him in the shower.

I needed more late night pizza nights with him.

I needed more time.

I caught his eyes and he looked genuine in what he had just said.

I felt a tear run down my cheek but I brushed it away quickly hoping Colby wouldn't see it.

"Hey," Colby said sitting up a bit, "don't cry." He said as he pulled me into his chest.

"I just need you in my life Colby." I said now in a shaky voice. "I don't know if I'll be able to go everyday without you. I've never felt like this before."

Colby held me tighter as he rocked me in his arms.

"I never have either," he said.

I sniffled a couple times and looked back up at him.

"What should I do? I have Brian at home waiting for me, I have Megan- God Megan would never forgive me." I said with a sob into my hands.

"Hey. Hey, Anna look at me," Colby said as he took my face in his hands, wiping away my tears.

I watched him with my glossy eyes. He was so strong, I was sitting her sobbing and he was so strong trying to hold me together.

"It doesn't matter what Megan thinks. You need to do what makes you happy. And Brian..." his voice changed a bit as he said Brian's name.

It made my stomach turn hearing him say it.

He swallowed hard and looked up at the ceiling like he was trying to find answers.

"Is Brian who you see yourself spending the rest of your life with?"

I thought about that question a lot. Even before I met Colby.

It always seemed like Brian was the one but what if he wasn't?

"Brian and I -" I started, "we've had some issues. Trust issues. About 2 years ago I found out about him and a coworker of his. I found out that they had kissed but Brian said nothing more happened and it was all her leading him on. I didn't believe him for a long time until I finally just did because it was easier to just believe him."

Colby sat silently and listened as I talked.

I shrugged now, "I don't know. That still just eats at me everyday. Deep down I still don't know if I believe him."

I glanced up at Colby and sighed, "Maybe we aren't suppose to be together. Maybe Brian's suppose to be with his coworker and maybe I'm suppose to be with-"

"Me?" Colby said, cutting me off.

I smiled lightly as I looked down and pulled my legs up close to my chest.

"Anna," he started, "I would never EVER do anything like that to you. You're all I want and I'm not going to give up on you until you give up on me."

I glanced back up at him and smiled as I felt more tears forming in my eyes.

"And even then I'd probably still keep fighting for you," he said as he pulled me into him.

I chuckled to myself and I wrapped my arms around him and cuddled into his chest.

"Give me some time, and I will make a decision okay?" I said now.

Colby hugged me tighter. "I have all the time in the world."