Is It Worth It? // Colby Brock

Chapter 52 - What Now?

I wanted to call into work on Friday but I didn't. I knew I was stronger than that.

After an hour of crying I finally managed to get out of bed. I didn't even care to put on the little bit of mascara that I usually do every day.

I barley cared to brush my hair, I threw it up in a messy bun. Since it was casual Friday I threw on a pair of black leggings, a hooded sweatshirt with my works logo on it and a pair of black and white vans.

I checked my phone before heading out the door hoping to see a text or call from Brian or Megan. Or Colby for that matter. But there was nothing.

My eyes filled with tears as I made my way outside and saw that both Megan and Brian's cars were gone.

Brian was probably in New York by now and Megan was who knows where. Probably still at her friend Jessica's.

-

I made it to work 15 minutes late but I didn't care. I didn't care about much anymore.

My mind was foggy as I dragged myself into my office and closed the door behind me. I prayed it would be an easy day and no one would come in and bother me. I just wanted to be alone.

I checked my phone multiple times through out the day. I even tried calling Megan and Brian but it went to voicemail for both of them.

I let my phone fall from my hands onto my desk as I rested my head in my hands and sighed deeply.

I don't know why I was trying so hard to talk to Brian. I was still broken from what I found out about him and Heather.

But we're engaged. We've been together for 5 years. I still love him.

But then there was Colby. I love him too.

I sniffled a few times and picked my phone up and went to instagram, and the first post that popped up on my feed was Colby.

I noticed his hair first. It was dyed a violet purple color. He had told me a few weeks ago how he was wanting to color his hair again soon.

It looked so good on him.

Then I noticed he was growing a little facial hair. I had never seen him with facial hair before.

It looked so good on him.

And then I read his caption.

we're gunna be jus fine

There was no doubt in my mind that that was about me.

I took in a deep breath as I tried to hold back tears. He had been messaging me and snapping me so much since Tuesday and I've barely replied.

I was starting to feel bad. Like he's told me so many times, he's not going to give up on me.

And his post on instagram is him telling not just me, but the world that he's not giving up.

we're gunna be jus fine.

Without thinking I double tapped his post, hearting it, and then I exited out of instagram and tried to focus on work.

-

It was probably the longest day of work I'd had in a long time. I pulled up to my house at around 6:00 PM. Just as I expected, Megan and Brian's cars were still gone.

I sighed as I grabbed my purse and my bag of Taco Bell from the passenger seat. I didn't feel like cooking tonight.

I just wanted to sit in bed and cry and eat tacos.

Once I was situated in bed, I turned on Supernatrual and started eating.

I just wanted to enjoy Friday night as much as I could. Tacos and Netflix usually cheered me up, but tonight all it did was make me feel full and fat and lazy.

I threw my garbage into the little basket next to my bed and that's when I heard my phone buzz next to me. I picked it up, it was a text from Colby.

Colby: Anna I'm sorry if I'm being annoying, I just can't take this anymore. You ignoring me. I need to hear from you, I need to make sure you're okay. Please send me a text, a snap, a call, something. I'm so fucking sorry about what you saw between Stas and I. I don't know what else to say besides you're all I want, Anna. I just wish you were here with me so I could hold you and kiss you and tell you that you're all I want. I love you Anna.

My heart was racing as I read Colby's text. Before I could even process it all, another text popped up on my phone. It was a text from Brian.

I clicked it quickly.

Brian: I made it to Jared's. Sorry I've been ignoring you. I've been needing time to think and process everything. I'm so confused and broken Anna. But there is one thing I know. It's that I don't know what I'll do if I lose you. We've both fucked up, but if we want this to work between us, we both have to forgive and forget. It's the only way. I'm willing to forgive you if you're willing to move on. If I'm all you want, than I want to be with you. I love you Anna.

I could feel myself shaking now as I read over Brian's text. It's like the 2 of them planned it or something. Texting me at the same time telling me they want me and that they love me.

I was surprised by Brian's text, I figured he would want nothing to do with me anymore. And did I really still want to be with him?

And Colby. He says I'm all he wants, but is that true?

My mind was racing as I stood up and started pacing the room. What do I do in this moment?

Who do I choose?

I knew one thing for sure. I had to leave.

I quickly packed a bag with a few t shirts, a few pairs of socks and underwear, and a pair of pants. I grabbed my keys from the kitchen table and made my way out to the car.

I wasn't thinking at all. I had no decision in my mind as to who I was going to choose as I sped to the airport.