Part 55

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Do you ever have those days where you just want to world to swallow you up for you not to be here anymore? Or just run away and not return. My mood for the past week. Its been two weeks since the two years of gran passing away. I haven't been feeling myself this past week. I feel down and not wanting to do anything. Robert and Paul knows theres something up as they keep asking me but i just say its nothing and walk away from the conversation. When my family comes around i just cant wait for them to go so i can go back to being on my own again. The only two people i want around me is ari and buddy and he isn't even a person.

Today its Friday and all the family were having a catch up in Windsor castle again today. I keep saying i don't want to go but my father isn't taking no for an answer. I don't think any of them understand that when i get into these depressed situations i don't want to be with anyone.

"Drink pwease" i hear ari say next to me.

I look down as i was in the kitchen and i smile.

"Of course baby" i say.

I lift her up and put her into her highchair. These days it's a normal chair but William added straps to it so she wouldn't fall out. She is a very hyperactive child i wont lie to you.

I made her a glass of squash and handed it to her. She said thank you well "fank fo" which in her language is thank you. Its cute.

I lie my head on the worktop and I feel someone wrap their arm around my shoulder. I look up and Robert was standing there.

"Come on now Ell please don't lie to me. I know there's something wrong you can tell me you know" he says.

"Im just tired" i lie.

"What time is the family meet up?" He asks.

"Half hour. Look after ari for me. Im going to change" i say.

I walk past them both and up the stairs. I went straight to my room and locked the door behind me and slid down the back of it. Buddy was in here and he walked up to me and licked my hand.

"Buddy why cant i just be happy? I have a perfect family and im bringing it down due to being my depressed self" i say hugging into the dog.

I look back at my mirror and the memories of the last time i was here depressed come flowing back to me and it made me flinch. Robert and Paul did everything to save me and they are trying to this time but my head is saying to push them away.

I push the thoughts aside and i stand up making my way over to the outfit i planned out early this morning. I put on:

 I give buddy a fuss again and i make my way back downstairs

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I give buddy a fuss again and i make my way back downstairs. Robert had just put ari's coat on.

"You look gorgeous" he says looking up at me.

He was in black jeans and a polo shirt. He looked hot too.

"Says you" smile.

"Keep that smile on tonight will you? I love it when you smile" he says.

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