After (UNEDITED)

Chapter 36

James pov.

I can't believe Michelle just left. She didn't even tell me. Does this mean she wants to break up? I don't know what I'd do if she did.
Why do I have to be such an asshole?
I've friend ringing her multiple times but it goes straight to voice mail.
Where could she have gone?

I drive my car to the repair shop as I still have a massive dent in it. My phone starts ringing as I'm waiting and quickly fumble around to answer it.
'Dad'
What would he want?
"Hello?" I mumble into the phone.
"James hi, I was wondering if you and Michelle wanted to take care of Josh for a couple a days. I know it's a lot to ask for but he misses you and he really likes Michelle"
"What makes you think we even live together" I ask in a flat, tired tone.
"Well I was just assuming" he says embarrassed.
"I'm not sure it's a good time right now. Michelle's not even in town and I'm kinda stressed. Maybe next week when it's the holidays. I'll take him for the weekend" I say. I feel for the kid. He reminds me of my mum.
"Oh okay. Thank you James. I'll tell Josh. Listen, I hope you and Michelle find piece"
"How'd you know we were on uneven surface?" I ask.
"Stephanie is concerned for both of you and she doesn't like bottling things up. I just hope you make the right decision and Michelle can see light in all of this. You really deserve each other" and with that he hangs up. God I'm so lucky to have someone like Michelle and I'm totally screwing things up.
I quickly dial her number but this time it rings a little. I feel a little hope.
"Hello?" A male voice answer.
"What? Whose this?" I demand.
"Eldon" fucking eldon.
"Why do you have Michelle's phone?" I ask.
"She's sleeping. We've had a busy day and she's very worn out. Never seen her work so hard and look so stressed and drained in a long time" his voice gets distant at the end.
"Listen can you tell her I called. There's something's I need to do and say before I loose her" I plead.
"Yeah of course 'Eldon?'" I hear her voice in the background.
"'Who are you talking to?' James' 'What?!' Mitchie just talk to him. It won't hurt" I can hear her sigh "' Fine'"
"Michelle" I practically whisper.
"Hi James" She says flatly.
"Listen Michelle. I am so terribly sorry for being an asshole. I'm not used to the whole long term relationship thing. I know you want commitment and I'm willing to commit everyday of my life to you. I will promise to be 100% faithful an loyal to you. Please forgive me Michelle. I don't want to loose you too" the words just tumble from my mouth.
There's silence on the end of the phone. I hear a sniffle before she speaks again
"James I don't know what to say"
"Say you'll forgive me"
"But this is, it feels like a routine to be honest. I still love you and always will but I can handle the tension, the lies and the behaviour between us"
"I know. I promise to tell you everything and anything when you come back. Please I just need one more chance to prove myself to you"
There's more silence. Like she's contemplating dumping me now or forgiving me.