ruined, but is it?

have a bit of time to think

Waking to his stomach, rain slowly opened his eyes to then look about payu who was to his side to be deep in sleep, to then turn about to then get up to go and use the bathroom, relieving himself, rain turned to then wash his hands to go about to drop to the edge of his bed to look over an asleep payu who hadent moved.
Rain made a hard face to then turn to go to his dresser to place on some boxers and a shirt to then go to his living room to sit at first to the edge of the couch to then lean back to wrap his arms about to furrow his brow to start to chew at his inner cheek.
Can't believe I..... Actually got mad..... But why? There is no real reason for me to have gotten that way. What am I wanting? Payu has my....
Rain shook his head to then hang out to eye down to flex his jaw.
Maybe it's just how he said this is just exploring and experimenting? But......it is.... Isn't it? Mm..... Maybe I feel this way because payu....forcefully was my first...... Maybe because we've.... So many times......I feel this way.....I don't know..... I'm also wanting to know more about his fiance and comparing myself to him..... But why?
Rain whimpered to groan to then hunch himself over to place his hands to his head to shake it.
This can't keep happening. I'm getting so confused. Doesn't help we do it almost day and night and it feels so..... Good...... Way better then masterbation but......if it's making me feel this way....... We really need to stop..... But.....
Rain gritted his teeth to then lean back again to wrap his arms about to make a hard face.
This is ridiculous. Just like payu said, your just friends with benefits..... But why does that make me mad?
Rain took in a very deep breathe to be lost in his thoughts.
Shuffling about, payu moved his head up a bit to smack his lips to then start to move to the side to then run his hand up and down the now empty space.
Payu slowly opened his eyes to look about to then get up on his forearm to really look everywhere.
"Rain?" He asked softly.
Payu signed to then take a hand to the blanket to move it off to then sit to the edge to Streach to then get up to look for him..
Leaving the bedroom, payu kept his head forward to eye about to then turn his head to look over rain.
"What are you doing over there?"
Payu turned to then step to rain to look him over.
Rain looked slowly up to then turn his head.
"Can't you be wearing any clothes?"
Payu raised an eye brow.
"Not like you and I haven't seen other like this. What's going on? Why are you out here?"
Rain shrugged to look down.
Payu darted his eyes over him to then go to sit next.
"Had any nightmares?"
"No.... Nothing like that just...... We need to stop doing this."
Payus eyes widened.
"Why?"
Rain made a hard face.
"It's..... Making me......I don't know."
Payu looked over rain.
"Having sex with someone..... It's not really a cut and dry thing. But...... Are you not liking it?"
Rain turned his head the other way.
"Um....."
Payu raised his eye brow to then place his hand to rains leg for him to then turn his head to then look down. Payu then started to move it up and down.
"If there is something I'm doing wrong when we..... Let me know now. I can fix that. I want it to be enjoyable for us both."
Rain signed to then look to payu.
"I've said this once, but I'm going to say it again. Aren't you trying to be celibate?"
Payu darted his eyes over rain to then move closer.
"Has I've told you, being around you..... Makes it hard "
Rain narrowed his eyes..
"Because I might be the only guy left on earth and your forced to do it with me?"
Payu rolled his eyes.
"Rain. It's not like that at all. Also...... Haha.... Your cute."
Rain tilted his head to feel perplexed.
"Men can't be cute "
"Mm... You'd be surprised."
Payu then went closer to place his mouth to rains neck to start to kiss.
Rain tensed to then place his hands to payus bare chest.
"Payu....." He said slowly.
Payu then slowly moved his hand up to take crotch to then start to rub.
"What am I doing wrong? What don't you like?"
Rain took in deep breathes to then peer his eyes to the clock to be happy it was a time where those things were asleep, rain then looked to the ceiling to coo.
Payu then placed his hand inside of rains boxers to then take out his enormous length to then stroke senually to then move his mouth from his neck to go down to his chest to kiss about to then go lower to place his mouth to his tip to move his tongue about to then down what he could.
"Aaaaah payu! Mmm....."
Rain took in deep breathes to then move his hand about to then place it about payus erection to then stroke.
Payu took his mouth off to eye rain a bit confused, he looked down at him.
"Not fair.... I'm the only one to.... To...."
Payu couldn't help to smile to then take rains hand off his erection to then move about to go in-between rains legs to then take his shirt over his head to toss it to the side to do the same to his boxers to then grab ahold of him, for rain to wrap his arms and legs about to then insert slowly, rain gasped a moan has that happened to then be turned for payu to be thrusting to take rain back to bed, flopping down, payu placed rains hands to either side of his head to place his fingers through to keep his head above his to look him over.
"See.... So cute....."
Rain rolled his eyes to then furrow his brow has payu placed his mouth to his for a very hard kiss.