Eat the parents

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My chickens just had chicks yesterday and one looks like a duck 🥺
Also sorry the chapters are taking so long I've been trying to keep up with all my books at the same time

~y/n's pov~

My parents had just asked me what Courtney's like and I'm trying to think of a way to describe her without exposing her for the crazy lunatic she was.

"Uhhhh, she's... nice. She can be a bit skittish around people she doesn't know, but once you get to know her, she's really sweet." I forced a smile, hoping they would by it.

I do love Courtney a lot more than I acted like, but I don't know that we'll be together forever. And even if we do, one day, I'll die. And she won't. I try not to think about it too much. Anyway, they turned to Barney.

"What about you honey?" "Huh? What about me?" The idiot was clearly paying no attention. "What's logs like?" Mom asked. "Don't get 'em started." I muttered but it was too late.

"Ah, Logs. Where to begin? He has these cute little face whiskers. He has a great sense of humor. He always knows what he wants. And he always saves the day. He's just the best." He realized everyone was staring at him and he blushed out of embarrassment. "Uh, anyway, he's just neat, I guess." He said, looking down.

"So, when are we gonna meet them?" Mom asked and I choked on my drink. "Meet?" I coughed.

"Well he sounds like a fine young man, and she sounds like a fine young... demon?" Dad questioned. "Actually, she's over 10... years old! He he, yep! Cuz you know, um, I'm not a pedophile." I laughed as everyone stared at me like I was lying. Well, at least I didn't say she's over 10,000 years old. That wouldn't have ended well.

"Aaannnnyyyyway, we'd love to get to know them." Dad smiled. "Uh, soon?" "Yeah, why don't you all meet for coffee?" Patrick suggested. "Patrick!" Barney and I said through gritted teeth. I can't believe he would suggest that knowing damn well I hate coffee. Simply outrageous.😤

"Great. We'd love to meet them all. Norma, Courtney, logs. That uh, disembodied hand you mentioned." Dad smiled. "You uh, you don't wanna meet them. They're a little... odd." "What a generous way to put it." I thought. "And that's putting mildly." I added and Barney elbowed me.

"Oh, kids. They can't be any weirder than the fact pugsley talks now." Mom said as we all looked over at pugsley, who was demolishing his dinner.

"Salient point. And can I just say the leftover meatloaf? Mwah! You've outdone yourself once again, Roxanne." Pugsley complimented and mom blushed.

"Ok, I suppose coffee wouldn't hurt." Barney sighed and this time I chocked on air. "Uh, oldest siblings meeting!" I announced and pulled Barney over.

"Are you insane?! You know how Courtney can be!" I whisper shouted. "I get where you're coming from, but they were gonna have to meet them eventually. Might as well get it over with." He said and I sighed, turning back to my parents.

"Fine. Under one condition. Keep it casual." I crossed my arms. "Oh honey? (Where are my pAaaNtSSss? Im sorry, i had to XD) Is my tux back from the dry cleaners?" Dad asked and I pinched the bridge of my nose.

Dad! Please don't embarrass us!" Barney groaned and everyone started laughing, and eventually, we both joined in. I have to admit, it was pretty funny.

~3rd person pov~

Barney had just dragged you out of bed to help him explain to everyone the plan.

"So that's why we need you guys to be on your best behavior." Barney concluded. "When are we not on our best behavior?" Norma asked. "Are you sure you want me to answer that?" You asked and she opened her mouth to say something but just burped so loud fire erupted from her mouth.

"Mm. Understood. You are cleared of all crimes." You nodded and Barney held out a trash can for her to throw away her drink.

"Look, I just want them to get the best impression of you guys. So just some simple conversations, some music, some coffee."

"And soda!" You added grabbing your cooler which was filled with coke, Pepsi, Dr Pepper, and other various carbonated drinks. "Y/n! I thought we agreed no cooler!" Barney glared. "Well where else am I supposed to put them?" You asked. "The fridge!" He exclaimed. "No, that's too far to walk. Plus, I know I won't be the only person wanting soda." You said and he sighed.

Norma suddenly raised her hand. "Yes?" Barney called on her. "We don't have any coffee." She pointed out. "No! It's all going wrong!" Barney started having a panic attack. "We've still got soda." You shrugged. "No! Absolutely not? We are not having soda when our parents are going to meet our partners! Oh, this is going to be a disaster!" He wailed.

"Barney, y/n, as the leader of this group, I command you both to get ready and we'll take care of everything else." Norma commanded. "Since when are you the leader?" You questioned. "Since now. Git!" She yelled and Barney whimpered. "Uh, I beg to differ. I-" You started to say but Barney grabbed you and dragged you out.

"What are you doing?! Do you not choose life?!" He said through gritted teeth as he dragged you through the curtains then suddenly stopped.

"Just remember, the fate of our relationships, nay the fate of romance itself is at stake!" He announced."mkay, I think they get it." You rolled your eyes, dragging him upstairs.

~time skip~

You both walked into the kitchen to see an absolute mess.

"What the fuck??" You muttered. "I can't believe you've done this." Barney face palmed. "See? I told you they'd be grateful. Hey babe! You wanna try some of my soup?~" She slurred and you blushed deeply but resisted her hotness.

"Don't babe me. What the hell did you do to the kitchen?! Who's gonna clean this up? Cuz I know you're not!" You glared, face still red, and she could see it.

"What happened to casual?" Barney asked. "What's more casual than soup between friends? And girlfriends?~" She smirked. "You're awfully flirty today." You raised your eyebrow and she chuckled.

"Here, try this." She said as she he she held a spoon full of soup, if you can even legally call it that, in front of pugsley. Before he could protest, she shoved it in his mouth.

He shivered as his eyes turned a bright pink. "Tonight's gonna be a disaster. I just know it." You thought. "Huh? Barney? Y/n?" He asked. "We didn't say anything." Barney said confused.

Suddenly, the door bell rang. "Oh no! They're here!" Barney exclaimed. "If anyone asks, I've left the country!" (A quote from Micheal Wheeler) You yelled as you started to run away but Norma grabbed you.

"No! You go up there and you greet them!" She demanded and you sighed in defeat.

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