𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐀.ᐟ 𝗮𝗱𝗮𝗺 𝗯𝗮𝗻𝗸𝘀

dreams and veins

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chapter sixteen: dreams and veins

{a/n:

just a heads up, the start of this chapter is a little sad... but it's finally in first person perspective!

hope you enjoy!}
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𝑉𝐸𝑅𝐴 𝑆𝐼𝑁𝐶𝐿𝐴𝐼𝑅

I WAS FIVE YEARS OLD AGAIN. Sitting on my bed, all alone in my room. My hands were numb, my face was weak and hot. I couldn't speak. My eyesight slowly went blurry.

I was confused.

Why did only the left side of my body hurt? Why couldn't I swallow? Why...why...why?

I attempted to call out for my foster mother at the time. Though my voice was all strained and squeaky, she'd somehow managed to hear me.

She told me to try to get up from my bed and walk it off. I didn't know it at the time, but she'd though I was faking it so I wouldn't have to go to school that day. But once she heard my small body drop to the floor, she rushed to the phone and dialed 911.

My eyes felt heavy. I couldn't keep them open.

I could only hear the screams of my foster mother crying for me to stay awake.

Then, everything went black.

   The air in my dorm room was freezing as I woke up that morning.

My throat was dry, eyes stinging from how hard I seemed to have been crying.

I buried my face into my hands and let out a sigh of relief? suffering? I couldn't tell. Everything in that dream felt so real. I didn't understand why my mind wanted to relive that moment.

It was something in my life that I want to forget so deeply but as hard as I try, I can't.

There's always this one thing that reminds me of it.

My veins.

When I was five years old, I had just gotten moved into my first foster home, and I was terrified. My birth parents had been missing for over seven months.

Everyone presumed they were dead.

Imagine hearing that at five fucking years old.

"Hey little girl. So, um, your parents are most likely dead and we're going to have you live with some random strangers that will most likely treat you like shit."

Well, at least thats what it sounded like to me.

I was dealing with so much at the time, and I guess all the stress built up into my blood pressure as I ended up having a stroke. It's not something common to happen to anyone under the age of 18, but of course it happened to me.

As a result, I have a heart that functions around only 85% of its normal strength and some neurological problems like difficulty with balance when I'm walking or running- though skating is a totally different story.