The Badboy's Heartbeat [BxB] √

CHAPTER 10

XAVIER ROCKWELL

It wasn't until I got far away that I started to feel exceedingly ashamed of what I just did. I just kissed Jordi Adkins and ran away like some coward who does not want to face any of the consequences of their own action. Talking to him was the whole intention and maybe kissing him too. Yes, I did get what I want when I kissed him but I felt like I never really got to have an open conversation about what happened. Though I managed to clear things up with him, that's not enough for me. I know I wanted some more.

I got scared and maybe I would call myself a coward for that. I just recalled the first time that Hector landed his fist on me and my mom, it was also the same day that he called me a worthless faggot. And I thought the world has already cast that derogatory word into oblivion. Apparently, not.

I thought that day was only a one-time kind of thing, that he just got pissed about my mom, that he's just tired from work, that he's just acting up out of pure rage but I was wrong. That was his true colors and they were dark and nasty. He told me I should toughen myself up because no one would take me seriously if I keep on whining and crying.

And I did. I did what he just told me to do because I know I don't have much of a choice. I toughened myself up. I made friends with both Nixon and Darren because they were cool and tough and they don't cry over petty stuff. However, I wasn't aware that I got to the point where I can't be seen in a vulnerable spot.

When I got home after class, I found Hector waiting for me along with all of the white powder products that I was pre-tasked to deliver. First of all, I didn't sign up to be his runner but he's giving me no other options but to be his runner. He's got my mother licking his feet and his dick. I didn't want to suffer the same fate but I know I have to do something to keep things going. I didn't want to get kicked out of this tiny little apartment. The memory of me and my mom being homeless for two months was still fresh in my memory. I wanted to forget about those uncomfortable times but something's always making me remember it.

My mother knows deep in her heart that Hector's not a good person but she's way too fucked up to worry about that. She's way too messed up to not even care that his only son could go to prison if things go awry.

"Bills due next week, you need to get rid of all of these." Hector piped up which meant that I'm basically doing an overtime.

"T-that's a lot." I replied looking at the drugs that's displayed on the table. When I say it's a lot, there's probably ten packets displayed on the table. That's literally a lot and I don't know how I'm going to get rid of all of them.

"What did you just say?" Hector's tone started to get pointed.

"He's going to sell everything." My mother chimed in spontaneously jumping on Hector's lap. "Am I right, Xavier?" She glared at me with her pitiful eyes.

I took a heavy sigh. "Yep, don't worry. I'm going to get rid of them tonight."

"Good, that's what I wanted to hear, boy. You better get going then before some other motherfucker snitches your buyers."

I barely even had some time to take a bit of rest. I shouldn't be doing all of these illegal stuff but I'm doing it all for my own mother's sake. I'm doing it all for some food in our table. I'm doing it all for the tiny little apartment that I call home.

When I got to the usual spot where I used to hustle, I was lucky enough to find some of the familiar faces that I call my customers. They already know who I am and I managed to get rid of seven packets in no time. Ideally, it would take me the whole night to at least get rid of five but I guess today's my lucky day. It hasn't gotten dark yet which meant I have all of the time in the world. I don't have to rush and get myself in risky situations like the last time.