The Badboy's Heartbeat [BxB] √

CHAPTER 37

JORDI ADKINS

The weekend passed very unbearably sluggish for me. Before the recent disaster that had occurred last Friday, I really thought I'm living a bit of a difficult life with Xavier and the rest bullying me. I was slightly wrong about that. It turned out that there are people even worse than Xavier and as much as I wanted to hate him for literally doing nothing, I could only hate myself.

I should've said no when Xavier asked me out. It's true that I'm starting to see the real Xavier hidden behind the tough facade and I would admit that I'm slowly falling for the stupid guy. However, the stars above do seem like they have an entirely different plan for either of us. If I had said no, then things would've been much easier for me to handle. I could've spent my weekend without having to overthink about a lot of things.

The mental and emotional turmoil that ensued from last Friday got me writhing with anxiety. On one hand, I kept on having a lot of what ifs and it wasn't very pleasant for my mental health. On the other hand, I still have to think about that moment I kissed Zacheus Riley.

What if Chad and his gang never showed up that day? Maybe Xavier and I had a much happier ending. Maybe I would've gotten more than just a kiss from him but who really knows? What if Xavier stood up for me instead of just watching me kiss that nasty shoe? This was entirely a different ball game when I started thinking about it much deeper.

When Monday eventually reeled, I wasn't very much excited to enter school mostly because I wasn't ready to deal with the aftermath. I haven't moved on from that quite yet.

"How was your date with Xavier?" That was the very first question that came out of Jane's mouth when I joined them. I was expecting the question to be asked at some point but I just never really thought she'd ask about it first thing.

"G-good. I had a real fun time with him." I replied forcing myself to put on a very believable mask even though I'm still tired. I'm aware that I'm essentially lying to them but I just have to. I know I said I'm not a liar but at this point, I really have to swallow my words and become such one.

"What did you two do?" Nikki followed up crossing her arms.

"Oh my gosh, we did a lot of things." I replied and at this point, I have to act really giggly and look like I'm more than happy. I really did have a good time spent with Xavier up until that moment Chad and his gang showed up and basically ruined the day. "We went to the arcade and played some games, you know. Car racings and basketball. I was really horrible but that's me, I'm horrible at a lot of things. Oh, and you know what? He also got me a plushy from the claw machine."

"Oh my god. That's so sweet, Jordi. My boyfriend won't even take me to the arcade but that's because I never asked. I'm really happy for you." Jane cooed holding me by the arm and jumping with such excitement.

"He really did that huh?" Nikki inquired and it's becoming clearer to me that she still has some reservations against Xavier. She's most definitely correct though. "I'm really glad that he's changed.

"Yeah, he was super fun to hang out with." I muttered and then I suddenly began to realize that I just made a horrible and careless mistake by lying to them.

I certainly don't want to be around Xavier Rockwell anymore. I, for sure, don't want to be with a guy who only cares about me when no one's around. Xavier's not exactly ready to be a part of my world consisting of rainbows and unicorns and all of those out and proud gay shit. He's a fucking mess who still have to deal with his very own confusion and I'm not saying I have my life all figured out but at least I know what's right and wrong. And maybe, just maybe, he's just going through a phase and it'll probably pass soon enough.