The Badboy's Heartbeat [BxB] √

CHAPTER 95

JORDI ADKINS

I woke up with the slow golden light of midday filtering through my window. I forgot how many days it has been until I walked out of my room and then I realized today was already the twenty-fourth. It seemed to me like it was just a blink of an eye but I guess that's all because the days were pretty much uninteresting. I'm doing nothing but showing up for breakfast, lunch and dinner. I've been sleeping for so long that it became an underlying concern for my protective mother. She said that sleeping for more than eight hours was a simple sign of sorrow that could lead to depression. I guess she was right about it. I am really that much depressed and she completely knows why. I don't even know why I'm getting so mopey when I've been trying my best to block Xavier's unrelenting presence off of my mind.

It was just a few hours left before Christmas and this year, one thing is for sure, I'm not much excited as I was last year or the year before that and the year before that year. Usually, I'm the most excited during this day but now, things are changing. One part of it was all because I still couldn't get over Xavier but also, the other part of it was me getting older. Christmas used to be so fun and lively and it's that time of the year were everyone's just want to give you something special. Most of the time, my parents always buy me something nice and expensive. Well, to be clear, my mom was the one who always gets me something nice and my dad was the one who kept on buying me expensive stuff. Last year, my dad got me this expensive Jaeger-LeCoultre watch to which until this day, I haven't worn yet on my wrist. And then my mom got me a t-shirt, it was a nice t-shirt by the way.

Nothing exciting and interesting has happened throughout the days leading up to this day. Yeah, sure I have been depressed and I've been finding most things so tiresome and repetitive. When my mom and I played Scrabble, I found myself losing when I used to be winning. My dad wanted to hangout and while he educated himself about gay stuff, I just don't have the energy and enthusiasm to do such activity. It is very bizarre that every time I retreat inside my room, the sorrow and pain of Xavier breaking up with me always hovered around.

For Christmas dinner, my parents and I went out and ate at a five-star restaurant and then after that, we went to the movies. I'd say I had fun with them mostly because this was something new and refreshing for us. Usually, this wasn't our Christmas tradition. Every year, we always go out of the city and have a holiday tour but this year, my parents decided to switch things up. I asked them why and they were very much honest with me. They are saving such money because they know I'll be going to college sooner. They don't want anything to do with such student loans because they have experience it firsthand. They've spent the early years of their careers trying to pay for their student loans which really cost them a lot. They don't want me to experience the very same fate that they have experienced and that's why they wanted to save in advance for me. I'm so lucky for having them as my parents.

By the time we got home from the cinema, it was already time to open up the gifts under the plastic Christmas tree that my mom bought five years ago. Once again, my mom got me a t-shirt, a very nice t-shirt. But what surprised me the most was my dad. I don't know if I'm going to laugh or cry. He just got me a whole make-up kit comprising of everything from eyeshadows pallets to foundation with my skin tone to a whole set of lipstick. It is entirely crazy that he got me all of these things when I don't even wear make-up myself. I may be gay but I'm one of those gay people who don't wear make-up on a day to day basis. Though, I am very grateful and appreciative of the lingering fact that my dad supports me for being who I am.

New year came quicker than I ever imagined though. Perhaps it's because of such laziness that has got me all scrunched up like a mashed potato. I spent most of the days in between just sleeping and watching movies that makes me feel good and forget about the first ever relationship that I've had. Nobody ever warned me that it could get this lugubrious.