The Badboy's Heartbeat [BxB] √

CHAPTER 53

XAVIER ROCKWELL

Opening my eyes and setting my sight on the person that I enjoy cuddling with made complete sense with my fantasy. This is way too good to be true but the universe hasn't been that good to me so I know I deserve it. For years and years, I've been hoping for someone who would love me for whatever I am, regardless if I was a total asshole and here he is, still in deep slumber right beside me.

I stared at Jordi's serene face and thought, maybe the universe has some other plans for me. I used to bully this guy just for being openly proud of himself not fully realizing the underlying truth that I was actually attracted to him. I have suppressed that part of me because I just thought it wasn't real, that I can't be attracted to men. I just realized it now that there have been some occasions in my life where I was truly attracted to boys.

The first time it happened was when I was nine, my mom took me to the mall for her weekly dose of shopping. I would very much say that she's one of those women who takes five hours just to buy one dress. While she was busy fitting ten very similar dresses, I got extremely impatient and decided to walk around. I ended up in the men's underwear section and there I found myself staring at this poster of a naked man wearing nothing but a Calvin Klein underwear. I didn't even realize that I was staring intently at the body until someone accidentally bumped on me.

When I was ten, I used to have a friend named Alistair. He was the son of my dad's business partner and we used to be so close together but that's until the time her tried to kiss me. For the most part, I thought I was just being too fond of him because he was always good at playing video games and I was the shitty one. I didn't know I had some sort of attraction towards him at that time and the funniest part of it was he secretly had a crush on me. One time while we were alone in his room playing some video games, he tried to kiss me. I got really grossed out by his action that I ended up punching him. After that, I never saw him again because his family moved in London.

Still staring over at Jordi's cute face, I suddenly felt frightened at the thought that things could still go wrong for us. Maybe now it's always rainbows and butterflies and kisses and floating on cloud nine but I don't know how long will that last. I haven't even told Nixon and Darren about us and I certainly don't plan on telling them shit. In spite of that, I'm pretty sure that at some point in the future, they'll eventually find out about us. I felt scared that they'll shame us to death.

"Why are you staring at my face?" With his eyes still closed, Jordi groaned.

"No, I'm not." I denied simply because I was startled. I thought he was still in deep slumber.

Jordi then opened his eyes. "Yes, you are."

"Your breath stinks!" I replied turning around.

"Why did you turned around?"

"Because I'm tired of staring at your face." I chortled.

"See, you've been staring on my face, you freaking redhead liar. Don't turn around when I'm talking to you." He said with a raspy tone subsequently forcing me to turn back around and face him. "I want to cuddle." He begged giving me a pretty-please blinking gesture.

"Jord..." Jordi then snuggled into my chest and I had no other choice but to wrapped my arms around him. It felt warm to have him snuggling over me and my heart was just beating like shit.

Jordi and I fell back asleep for another fifteen minutes until the funniest alarm clock that I've ever heard rang. I don't know why Jordi decided to use her mom's voice as an alarm clock but I found it hilarious.

"Good morning, boys!" Jordi's mom welcomed us with a very cheerful smile as we inched our way to the kitchen. She had just finished cooking pork sausages and eggs for breakfast and was now preparing them on the table. "How did you sleep, Xavier?"