The Badboy's Heartbeat [BxB] √

CHAPTER 55

JORDI ADKINS

I sat on my usual chair during sex ed. and for the most part, Xavier and I kept on exchanging stolen glances between each other. It's as if we were both secretly in love and we just don't want to admit it. That's crazy to think of but that's how things are basically rolling off right now. It was pretty much difficult to be in the same room as the person you love but you can't even express how you feel about that person. But what can I do? This is what I agreed to and while it's restricting, I'm still glad to have Xavier in my life.

How would I describe this pulsating feeling? I was initially against the idea but when I finally understood Xavier, I finally realized it's pretty hard to be so out and proud while the other one's still pretty much hiding in the closet. It's like a classic story of homosexuals falling in love while the world is completely against their entire existence. No matter how far the community has progressed in the recent decade, still, it isn't enough for people like us to live with proper freedom as the heterosexuals. The reason why there's a whole bunch of people afraid to come out and live their own truth was all because of this sick belief that homosexuality is a sin. Perhaps the roots of it came from Sodom and Gomora and how God burned the entire city for their sinful and evil acts. Conservative politicians are still passing laws that keeps on discriminating the community and the most dangerous part of it, they are winning. Transgender people are getting murdered here and there. And for what? For living their own truth.

During lunch, I had to sit on the chair that had the perfect angle just so I could continue stealing glances over at Xavier. I could clearly tell it in his face that he was uncomfortable with the presence of Darren and Nixon and whatever they were talking about. Other than that, he's also afraid to just come over and sit here with me.

"Stealing glances?" Whispering softly, Nikki nudged my shoulder.

"W-what?"

"You keep on looking at him like everyone's against it." She added.

"Why don't you just ask him to come over and sit with us." Jane chimed in.

"Because he's not out yet." I replied truthfully.

"Oh, right. And he's still friends with those two clowns over there." Nikki said laughing under her breath.

"But have you already put a label on it?" Jane inquired shoving a fruit into her lip-gloss covered mouth. Here she goes again with the label thing and it reminded me that I haven't really had that conversation with Xavier. To be perfectly honest, I wasn't sure how would I start it and I'm not even confident on how it would end.

"What is it with people and labels?" I spat out. I'm not angry but I just don't understand Jane's obsession with labels.

"Nothing, there's nothing wrong it, Jordi." Nikki muttered.

"Listen, Jordi. Putting some sort of label on it basically like putting a ring on it. If you don't want anyone shaking their asses on your man, you better cuff it." Jane expressed and she even got her fingers doing a gesture of putting an imaginary ring.

"Jane's got a point, Jordi." Nikki nodded agreeing to Jane's statement and also perfectly mimicking what Jane did with her fingers. "You better cuff it before someone else does it."

After lunch, I was on my way to my locker when I accidentally bumped into a rushing Michiko Takao. She was holding a lot of stuff on her arms that they got scattered on the floor.

"Oh fuck, I'm so sorry, Michiko." I mumbled out and just as I tried to help gathering all of her stuff, I noticed she had a lot of stolen photos of Xavier. I felt much rather surprised when I clearly know she was the one who broke up with Xavier. Why does she have photos of him from the field to the cafeteria and almost everywhere.