The Badboy's Heartbeat [BxB] √

CHAPTER 69

JORDI ADKINS

I am such horrible a person. My grandmother's probably cursing me out in heaven right now and here I am just barely having all of these intrusive thoughts without actually doing something about it. It's nearly a month since that Halloween party occurred and I haven't even decided to finally be the honest person that I claim to be. Maybe Nikki was right when she called me a liar that time we had a fight.

The truth is, I haven't really been feeling okay lately mostly because of what happened between me and Zach at Michiko's Halloween party. I have been trying my best to shake the predicament off of my shoulder thinking that perhaps I'd get over it as time goes by. However, I don't feel like my guilt won't go away anytime soon. Sometimes when I see how happy and contented Xavier is with me, I feel like I don't deserve him at all. For some reasons, I'm clad with dread and maybe it's all because I don't want to lose Xavier. I know I never dreamt of actually dating him but now that I have finally cuffed him, I'm already terrified of this existing idea that I might lose him. He's just a human being too and I learned that pretty quickly because I've seen how he's trying his best to become the better version of himself. I guess part of the reason why I've fallen for him was because of his growth. He was truly an asshole but he's slowly warming up and becoming a better Xavier.

When will I be able to muster the right amount of strength and courage to finally tell Xavier that I made out with Zach? It should really be easy. I'm entirely aware of the fact that I was drunk and I was momentarily captivated by how handsome Zach truly is but that's clearly and will never be an excuse for me to cheat. That's blatantly not a valid argument to begin with and I'm well aware that I was standing at the wrong side of the trench.

I really truly wanted to tell Xavier about how I kissed Zach at the party but I was intricately terrified because I don't really know what's going to happen for real. I have a lot of thoughts about it but nothing's really sticking except that I don't want to burn the bridge that I've constructed with Xavier. But then the sharp claws of guilt are slowly clawing their way inside of me.

"You really should stay away from Michiko." Xavier muttered one afternoon that he decided to walk me home.

"Why?" I replied in a soft whisper.

"Just a warning. She's really a crazy woman."

"Why is everyone calling her that?"

"Cause she's one. She may be treating you okay now but once she clings too tight on you, there's no way out."

"Hmm." I shrugged not really sure if I should believe Xavier. I know I should believe him because he's probably seen more of Michiko than I did. I know I should take his word because he's one of the people who've actually been with Michiko.

Ever since that party, I may have changed my views on Michiko mostly because she's been really nice to me. Apart from that one time she claimed she was Xavier's girlfriend to his old man, there's really nothing else she did that spooked me. She stopped mentioning Xavier to me and I think that's more than enough.

"Hmm? That's it?" Xavier quipped seemingly unconvinced.

"I mean, yeah, why not. She's been calling me her gay best friend and I think that's annoying enough." I had to say something at least. It's true, it's really annoying that she's too much of a hugger. Every time we see each other she's going to hug me and then call me her gay best friend. I know that's only for the sake of clout. There are barely gay people in our school most probably because the school's riddled with homophobic students and teachers and it's hard to live like us in this kind of environment. Thankfully for me, I got Nikki and Jane who are basically the best people at making my life so much better. The only two other gay people besides me already have their own circle too and they hate Michiko for some unknown reasons.

"Yeah, that's one thing. She's like a leech, you might probably not notice it now but she will slowly suck the energy out of you." Xavier beckoned.

After a while, Xavier and I finally reached home and we both went straight to my room just for one thing and that is too cuddle. We both dropped our bags and the next thing I know; we're both on the bed. It seemed to me that both of us are just charged up with energy and we can't seem to keep our hands to ourselves every single time we are alone. We're not usually having penetration, it's mostly making out and humping and canoodling and those times that we actually do some penetration only happens seldom. Xavier is such a beautiful sculpted art, such a delicate art that I only want him to be mine and mine only.

Xavier and I became too fond of each other in secrecy. Besides the stolen glances and holding each other's hand under the table, we eventually upgraded to an even riskier game. We usually see each other at the janitor's closet and sometimes, I also get really naughty and see him at the restroom. It's definitely risky to be with him mostly because we both agreed to keep our relationship a private matter. It's difficult but we are kind of working well as a team. Though, as much as I want to brag him as my boyfriend, I can't even do it too, not even on my social media accounts.

Xavier and I both continued devouring each other's mouth. We haven't had the chance to meet each other at the janitor's closet mostly because of our exam. Maybe that's one of the reason why we both feel like we've been deprived of each other's touch.

"I love you, curlytops." He breathed out sensually in my ear and the warmth of his breath just tickled my body sending enough jolts of electricity to make me firm.

"Yes, babe." I groaned as he began biting my nipples even with my shirt still on. "Stop!" I yelled loud and unbridled. He's doing a pretty good job that I just don't want to explode quite yet. I cupped his face and slowly brought it up to mine.

I began kissing his forehead and went all the down only to find his luscious lips. I bit his upper lip and sucked it like a pacifier until I began working my way inside his mouth. My tongue was aggressive enough and I'm really into the moment. Being with Xavier for almost a month was just the thing that ever happened to me. The passion's burning and we're both keeping it in conflagration. Maybe because we are young and thirsty. Maybe because we're both secretly insatiable creatures.

I could feel Xavier's hand caressing my back, his hands felt really good on my body. I pushed him until he was lying on the bed, this has been my favorite move on him and he seemed into it. I didn't waste any time and jumped right on top of him and just when I was about to devour his mouth again, the door opened followed by a loud curse. Xavier and I were overwhelmed with shock and fear to see a pair of eyes just as shocked as we are.

Jordi and Michiko interacts. Xavier warns Jordi to stay away from michiko

Michiko accidentally catches Jordi