The Badboy's Heartbeat [BxB] √

CHAPTER 75

JORDI ADKINS

As the holiday rolled to an end, I was already having a mild hangover for the event that had transpired during thanksgiving. I still couldn't believe my parents were fine with me being gay and they were very much expressive about it. I think my fear and uncertainly stemmed from every horrible story that I've heard of from people like me. I know it's hard being hidden in the closet and choosing to come out to your parents is an undeniably rough journey for most. The mundane world riddled with different beliefs carefully made everyone believe that the default gender is male and female. What if there's a world where people don't have to come out?

I think I'm very much lucky to have a family that don't give a single shit if I was gay or not, or if I were to wear a gown or a suit, or if I choose to gawk over at naked men rather than naked women. My grandmother started the ripple and I am unbelievably fortunate to have the parents that I have. I still can't believe they knew what I was all this time and they just chose to keep it to themselves. They trusted me and honestly, even without Michiko's tantrum last time, I'm still going to be fine. I just can't imagine how things would've gone if Michiko didn't lash out to my mom and told her I was going to burn in hell. If I was going to burn in hell, for sure, she'll be burning with me.

Speaking of burning in hell, I might be burning with guilt in the next few hours until I get to school. I woke up pretty much early in the morning because of this bad dream that I just had. As I sat down on my bed, I started to feel much rather guilty of myself. I've been reaching Xavier yesterday and he wasn't answering my call and he's been leaving me on read. It's really making me sick to my stomach not hearing his voice and not knowing what's going on with him. I had to convince myself that he's fine and that he's just letting all of the things that happened to the thanksgiving dinner that he went to sink in. His situation was undoubtedly tricky and for the most part, he all alone.

How can your father introduce you to his family for the very first time and then tell them you are getting everything when he dies? That's fucked up. I can only imagine things but I have no way of knowing exactly what was Xavier going through.

And then I suddenly remembered what I did to Xavier almost a month ago. That was some fucked up shit and I admit it to myself. I cheated on him and people may say it was just a kiss that it wasn't even something bad and that I shouldn't be worried about anything but they're most definitely wrong about it. I should be worried about everything and I know that because I know secrets don't stay a secret in a cycle such as forever. It's like a bad odor, they always find a way to get smelled by someone. I should've told him I kissed Zach a long long time ago. I should've been honest with him.

As I made my way to school, I'm already thinking of seeing Xavier and possibly confessing my sins to him. I missed him and I kind of knew he missed me too. I love him so freaking much and just like my mom told me, you've got to give the people you love your trust. Xavier's been giving his trust on me and I'm just keeping my mouth shut about this shit. It's about time that I tell him what happened.

"Jordi, come here!" Nikki suddenly showed up from behind me once I got to school. she looked and sound much rather agitated than usual. She grabbed my hand and pulled me until we found some place private.

"W-what's going on? You seem troubled, Nikki. Is there something that I'm missing?" I inquired gritting with confusion.

"You haven't watched it, don't you?" Nikki volleyed back and the look on her face was just making me feel nervous all of a sudden.

"Watched what?" Suddenly, I felt like something's not right. From the looks of things, she's carrying a bad news along with her. What the fuck is Nikki talking about? I thought to myself.