Chapter 41

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Kelani

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Kelani

The sun is at its last light and I've spent the entire day in my room, trying to figure out if I'm happy or upset about the current living situation.

And Alaiyah's voice has been speaking in my head saying 'the only reason you're upset is because you're afraid of your feelings for Mateo'

And each time she says that I want to pull back my scalp, scoop out my brain and burry it by the pool outside.

'Feelings for Mateo' my ass. We're friends, yeah I'm having thoughts about us kissing and having his hands on my waist again. But that's normal. Isn't it?

It's only because it was my first kiss, and I'd be lying if I said it wasn't good.

Yeah Alaiyah. I want to do it again. Big fucking deal. But just because I want it to happen again doesn't mean I should. I also wanted to jump off the harbour bridge, doesn't mean it was a good idea standing at the ledge.

Alaiyah talked me out of it, I heard her voice when I needed her most. If she can talk me out of that how come she can't talk me out of this.

"Kelani. One of them is harmless. The other would've destroyed you entirely."

"For fucks sake" I groan flopping back on the bed. My hand grabs a near pillow and mushes it against my face.

"Why am I overthinking this so much." I muffle into the pillow, I shoot back up and sit up straight on the bed, looking at my reflection in the vanity mirror at the wall across the bed.

"Just take each day as it comes, Kelani. Fucks sake you got other shit to worry about" I lecture my reflection. Daniel is still lurking out there, Dad went MIA, there's still so many victims contacting me through my email for my help and I can't do anything to help them right now.

Delilah texted me last night, asking if I found her assaulter and if I was sure it wasn't Mateo. I just texted back saying that I'm 100% sure it wasn't Mateo, that his wallet was taken, and I don't have the heart to tell her that I still haven't found her actual assaulter.
... aka my last assaulter from that night. He's the only one I haven't figured out yet.

I got rid of Justin. Elias... now that I think of it, no one has heard from him in a while. I have no clue on where that asshole is, but the further he is, the stronger my desire is to kill him.

If he found out my plan and ran away, it fucks everything up. And I won't get to avenge Alaiyah or myself.

Night darkness is all I see when I look out the window. I'm not tired at all, the night only just started. I'm debating on weather I should go up to the main house with everyone or if I should just stay here and watch a movie on the TV here.

Mum and Sam are staying in the east manor, there's two separate bedrooms in there. Mum said she felt safer being closer to Sam, so he moved in the east manor with her in the seperate room.

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