- 𝐔𝐍𝐊𝐍𝐎𝐖𝐍 𝐔𝐍𝐈𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐄 !

035

—Chapter Thirty-five | The Lodger

—"OH, THAT WAS INCREDIBLE!" Craig complimented after sitting on the sofa. "That was absolutely brilliant. Where did you learn to cook?"

"Paris, in the 18th century." The Doctor said before attempting to correct himself. "No, hang on, that's not recent, is it?" Eve shook her head no. "No, no, no, 20th. Sorry, I'm not used to doing them in the right order."

"Has anyone ever told you that you're a bit weird?" Craig laughed.

"They never really stop. Ever been to Paris, Craig?"

"Nah, I can't see the point of Paris. I'm not much of a traveler." Craig told them.

"I can tell from your sofa."

"My sofa?"

"You're starting to look like it." The Doctor told him making him laugh. Eve looked toward the two.

"Thanks, mate, that's lovely! No, I like it here. I'd miss it, I'd miss..."

"Those keys?" The Doctor guessed making Craig turn to him. 

"What?"

"You're sort of... fondling them." 

"I'm holding them." Craig stood up. "Anyway... these... these are your keys." The Doctor and Eve walked over.

"We can stay?" They asked at the same time.

"Yeah, you're weird and you can cook, it's good enough for me. Right, outdoor, front door, your door." Craig held up each key for each door.

"My door. My place. My gaff. Ha-ha! Yes!" The Doctor laughed before looking at Eve. "Me with a key."

"And listen, Mark and I, we had an arrangement where if you ever need me out of your hair, just give me a shout, okay?" He then winked making both the Doctor and Eve confused.

"Why would we want that?"

"In case you two, you know, want some... privacy." Craig looked between the two as Eve's eyes widened and she looked at the floor. 

"Oh, I will. I'll shout if that happens. Yes. Something like... I was not expecting this!" The Doctor yelled. "By the way, that... the rot. I've got the strangest feeling we shouldn't touch it." He told him before Eve and him walked to the room.

The Doctor fell backward on the bed while Eve sat next to him. "Earth to Pond. Come in, Pond."

"Doctor!" Amy's voice was so loud that Eve could hear it and she wasn't even wearing an earpiece. 

"Could you not wreck my new earpiece, Pond?" Eve laughed while she looked at him. "Yes, that was Eve. How's the Tardis coping?... Ooh, nasty. She's locked in a materialization loop, trying to land again but she can't... I don't know what it is yet!" The Doctor stood up on the bed. 

"Oi, take your shoes off before standing on the bed!" Eve lightly whacked him but he wasn't listening.

"Anything that can stop the Tardis from landing is big, scary big!" The Doctor began to ramble. "Orange juice, Eocene Arbuckle tarantula on the table, ooh! I can't go up there until I know what it is and how to deal with it! And it's vital that this 'man' upstairs doesn't realize who and what I am. So no sonicking."

"No advanced technology. I can only use this 'cause we're on scramble." The Doctor jumped off the bed letting Eve lay down instead. "To anyone else hearing this conversation, we're talking absolute gibberish. Practical eruption in chicken. Descartes Lombardy spiral. All I've got to do is pass as an ordinary human being. Simple. What could possibly go wrong?"

The Doctor put on sunglasses. "So you're just going to be snide? No helpful hints?" 

"-bow tie, get rid!"

"Amy, he's not losing the bow tie! Bow ties are cool." The Doctor looked down at her with a smile. "What? It's growing on me, okay?"

"Come on, Amy, I'm a normal bloke, tell me what normal blokes do. I could do those things! I don't, but I could!" There was a loud crash upstairs. "Hang on. Wait, wait wait! Amy?" 

Eve looked at the clock which was going mental. "Interesting. Localized time loop. Time distortion. Whatever's happening upstairs, is still affecting you. My end's good."

Eve laughed slightly. "No, no, no, not really! Just keep the zigzag plotter on full, that'll protect you." The Doctor sat down at the end of the bed. He stood back up. "Amy, I said the zigzag plotter! What, you're standing with the door behind you? Okay, take two steps to your right and pull it again! Now, I must not use the sonic."

The Doctor began to look through stuff and put them on the bed. "I've got work to do, need to pick up a few items."

_

Loud singing echoed from the bathroom. The Doctor's singing. He was in the bathroom while Eve was in the room, trying to fix a hole in her leggings. There was a loud thump from upstairs causing her head to snap up.

She stood from the bed and quickly went into the hallway where the stairs were. The Doctor soon came running in, his hair all messed up and he had Craig's toothbrush.

"What happened, what's going on?" He asked as he pointed the toothbrush toward the door at the top of the stairs.

"Is that my toothbrush?" Craig laughed as he got to the bottom of the stairs.

"Yeah, why do you have his toothbrush? Also, you spoke to the man upstairs?" Eve questioned.

"Yeah."

"What did he look like?"

Craig laughed. "More normal than you do at the moment, Mate. What are you doing?" 

"I thought you might be in trouble."

"Thanks. Well if I ever am, you can come and save me with my toothbrush." The phone began to ring causing Craig to go see who was phoning.

Eve laughed as she looked at the Doctors appearance. "Oh, you silly man." She ruffled his hair before walking off not noticing the Doctor's face as she did so. 

The door opened as Eve sat on the sofa. The Doctor came walking inside, and Craig walked up to him. "We've got a match today, pub league, we're down one if you fancy it?"

"Pub league? A drinking competition?" Craig looked at him confused.

"No... football... play football?"

"Football. Football! Yes, blokes play football! I'm good at football, I think." The Doctor told him as Eve shook her head with a small smile.

"You've saved my life! I've got somebody. All right, see you down there." Craig ended the phone call to greet the woman who had entered. "Hey, Soph."

"Hey, I thought I'd come early and meet your new flatmates." Eve turned around with a smile and a wave.

"Do you play, Sophie?" The Doctor asked.

Craig and Sophie smiled while the Doctor started drinking the milk he took from the fridge. "No, Soph just stands on the sidelines, she's my mascot."

"I'm your mascot?" Sophie questioned. "Mascot?!"

"Well, not my mascot, it's a football match, I can't take a date."

"I didn't say I was your date."

"Neither did I." There was a silence that the Doctor broke.

"Better get dressed."

___