Holiday Getaway

Broken

Our greatest joy and greatest pain come in our relationships with others.

Felix

Fuck why did I do that?

I never meant to say that God why does this shit have to be so hard?

I stood there frozen in the kitchen as Minho stormed off and I never felt so ashamed of myself than I do right now. Better yet we were in ear shot of everyone else, so much for a fucking Christmas with friends.

"Lee Felix! You have no idea what you've just done." Hyunjin yelled at me as he walked off to find Minho. "Lix, come on let's go upstairs." Chan said calmly. I followed Chan with my head down trying to fight the tears threatening to escape.

Chan opened the door to some room that looked like a study of some sort and closed the door behind him. I fell into one of the oversized chairs and covered my face with my hands. "Felix what happened back there?" Chan asked taking the seat opposite me.

I honestly have no fucking clue what came over me. Did I really think he was just using me? Am I going to think that all relationships are just bound to end before the even begin?

"I-i don't know Channie, I messed up and Hyunjin yelling at me just made me realize I definitely fucked up. I jumped to conclusions without even knowing what Minho has been through. He-he's going to never want to t-talk to me ag-again." I sobbed. "Lix, I know this is new to you, realizing you're gay and falling for the one boy who is beyond fucked up by his last relationship. Minho was coming out of his shell, and I could see how happy he was getting close to you and getting to know you. I'm honestly surprised you two actually got that close, close enough to sleep together. He let his guard down because he thought you were different." Chan started to explain even though I knew he was a little disappointed in me.

I can't blame Minho for not telling me about his past but at the same time I didn't know enough to stop myself from being a complete idiot.

Me realizing my true self and allowing myself to want to even get into another relationship so soon after my last... I just don't even know anymore. I like Minho I really do, and I literally just accused him of using me for sex. 

After a while of silence, I felt a pair of strong arms wrap around me instantly knowing Chan pulled me into his arms allowing me to cry for as long as I wanted to. Even disappointed in me he still cares enough, he hates seeing me this way.

"I don't know if you can come back from this Lix. Minho may look like he has it all together but deep down on the inside he's like broken glass. Either he can put the pieces back together or there's too many to even try." Chan whispered.

I guess loving someone is hard.