My story

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"So how did it end? Or how did you get out?" Felix asked me. As I looked up at him it was clear how this was all affecting him, and I haven't even told him the crappiest part yet. I stood up and walked over to the window and looked out into the snowy night.

There were times when I also thought that sex was the only way to keep him around, it seemed like during intimate moments we were good, and everything seemed totally normal. I had to most nights throw myself at him, but some nights when he came to my dorm late at night, I could smell someone's else's perfume or cologne on him.

He never tried to hide the fact that he cheated and whenever I asked him, I always got hit or slapped "It's none of your business who I spend my nights with! You're not even that great anyways, half the time I only give in to shut you the fuck up."

Towards my junior year of college, I had full on told Hyunjin everything and he had confessed about telling Chan small bits and pieces of my troubles and I didn't even have the energy to argue with Hyunjin. I know he meant well and if he hadn't of told him I pry wouldn't even be here.

The rest of the group only knew I was in a bad relationship, and it was a bad break up they didn't really know the specifics and they never asked.

Hyunjin, Chan, and Changbin found my so-called boyfriend at the time at a bar getting drunk and doing some sort of drugs but also, he was with a few girls and guys. He had no shame and Hyunjin had enough of it just seeing him across the room hands all over the person he was next too and moving on the next and so on.

Hyunjin didn't tell me much other than I didn't need to worry about him anymore and that I was free. I pretended not to notice but he had bruises on his face and the other two weren't much better.

For a while Hyunjin kept my mind off of things and involved me more with the group and slowly I got to know them better and realized that they would have my back.

Hyunjin found me one night at home though I had found some old photos and what not from my relationship with my ex and all the memories came rushing back to me. It put me into a spiral and I had almost drunk myself to death.

One night I woke up in a hospital bed with no memory, but Hyunjin was right there next to me. He had explained what had happened and I was ashamed of myself, but I still felt like everything was my fault and that I wasn't good enough.

I was put into some therapy and my best friend was right by myside the whole time, I didn't even finish my final year at college but instead Hyunjin got us an apartment to live together and helped me find a job. He tried to get me on my feet but for months I was in a slump, I went to work came home and slept mostly, I barely ate, and I even started distancing myself from the group.

It wasn't until a couple weeks ago when Hyunjin dragged my ass out and we went to the mall, went to the arcade, took me to his favorite restaurant. He sat there with me until I finished all the food on my plate. He did everything in his power to cheer me up and he talked about the guys and all the silly stupid shit they did and showed me pictures of them all.

Hyunjin told me about Chan and his little plan of a gathering with all the guys and how he would finally get to see Jisung again after a while, his one crush that he had and didn't even know about it until now. He was so excited about it all and wanted me to come along with, he mentioned Chan was bringing his cousin and even showed me a picture that was posted in the group chat.

I was intrigued and curious about you, with your dark hair and your hundreds of freckles scattered across your face, your smile and your eyes.

I thought what's the worst that can happen? I got out of my comfort zone, and I swear Hyunjin screamed and jumped up and down for what seemed like hours when I agreed to come with.

When the time came, and we got here and met up with everyone after forever I realized how much of my time I wasted being at home and closing myself off not to mention all the years I wasted being with my ex only to realized I was never the problem.

When my eyes landed on you, I knew I immediately had to get to know you.

The funny part was when they mentioned you were straight. And here we are now...

"So, Lee Felix that was my story, only the second person to know the whole truth. I'm sorry I reacted the way I did. But I really fucking like you, and you made me realize what I was missing." I explained.

I turned around only to be met with small arms wrapping around my neck and being pulled into a kiss. I was caught off guard but that didn't stop me from pulling him closer to me and deepening the kiss.

It seemed like hours passed but really only a couple of minutes went by and when I pulled away Felix was full on crying, his beautiful, freckled face was being covered by his tears.

This precious human being shouldn't have to be crying.

"I-im so s-sorry, I didn't kn-" Felix tried to say. "Felix please don't do this you had no idea. I'm the one who is sorry." I replied. "N-no. Lee Minho, will y-you please forgive me."

I cupped his face with my hands and wiped his tears away and gently pressing my lips against his, kissing him softly.

"Shh baby, it's okay." I said.

The worst part is that I'm afraid what will happen after this.



If anyone was to ask me "What is hell?" I would answer "Distance between two people who love each other."

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