Careful what you wish for

Enough, enough now.

Tour seems like it's fun until it's four in the morning and you need to pee but there is a line full of men.
"Have we touched down Huston?" I ask sitting down.
"we have not, but we are pulling over in about thirty minutes" dad says.
"Thank god." I say. "I'm making breakfast for everybody. Pancakes good with you guys?" I raise my eyebrows.
"well we are stopping soon. Let's take a rain check" Christian suggested.
"fine." I respond.

*1 new message: NOAH"
N: hey. Good morning.
Me: morning. I'm so sick of my dad.
N: how so?
ME: so basically I'm getting on your bus when we stop and you are gonna like it.
N: noted.

Thirty minutes later:
As soon as the busses parked I opened the door to run inside of the pilot we stopped at. I HAD to piss. I got back out to the busses after peeing, getting a monster and thanking the cashier.
I hop on my dads bus and collect a couple of essential things: phone, charger, my fuzzy blanket..
I throw it all in my tree of life tote bag.
"Where are you going shithead?" Luke asks fluffing my hair.
"I'm not riding with you guys EIGHTEEN more hours. You guys are killing me. I'm riding with omens." I threw up a peace sign to Luke and the guys and headed to Noah's bus.
I pound on the door.
"Jesus, you were not fucking kidding. Get in here" Noah laughs.

"Who decided to knock on the door at this hour Noah, damn." I hear from the back of the bus.
"It's Lillian, SHUT UP FOLIO." Noah yells.
"Sorry guys I didn't know you would still be sleeping." I laugh.
"you can sit where ever. go back to bed. Do what you want" he says.
"okay. going back to sleep?" I ask.
"Abso-fuckin-lutley" he says seriously. "You are welcome to join me." He teases.
"I'm gonna take you up on that. I'm fucking beat. All FIR did was play video games and guitars all night so I didn't really sleep much." I say.
"Okay, I sleep back here." He says walking back to the back room.
I immediately get under the blankets, bringing my fuzzy one with me.
"you weren't gonna take, 'get comfy' lightly were you" noah laughs
"Not at all." I say squirming to get comfortable.
"welp, I'm going back to sleep. seems we are pulling out now so, catch ya later lil." Noah says rolling over.
I was again, asking myself what I was doing?
I was literally in bed with a guy I met four years ago. Not even in a sexual way, but
what the fuck am I doing?

I tried to fall asleep, next to Noah. I'd never felt so far away from a person but so close at the same time.
He looked so peaceful, almost like a calm ocean.
I started to study him. all of his veins and tattoos. like a canvas at an art show.
I eventually succumbed to the darkness of the room get me.
Something in me , felt that even though this wasn't my bed, my bus, MY Noah, felt comfortable and at peace.
maybe one day it would all be mine.
if he asked, I'd say yes in a fucking heart beat.
And I think he knows that.