Careful what you wish for

I can go the distance

Me and Aliyah had just sat upstairs in the bathroom.
Aliyah had sat on the sink and I in the floor.
"I wish we could do this all the time" Aliyah leans against the mirror.
"Me too, I hate the fact we all live so far away from eachother. you guys are here, I'm in Detroit." She let's put a sigh. "I haven't talk to Nick about our whole distance debacle yet. Honestly I don't know how or when to bring it up." She pauses wrapping her tan arms around her knees. "It's stressing me out."
"I get it. Long distance is hard, no doubt. but he really likes you. I mean REALLY LIKES YOU. he is gonna find any and every way to make you guys work." I say.
"I just want something perfect like you and noah" she sighs again.
"Noah and I aren't perfect trust me." I giggle. "We have our moments. it isn't always rainbows for us. Some days we want to strangle one another. But we make it work nonetheless"
She pauses to look at me.
"Ya know, you and Nick act like you wanna kill each other but also like you guys are the bestest of friends, why" she chuckles through her tenseness .
"nick and I have a funny dynamic. I want to kill him when he is here, but when he is gone or away, I worry about him. Like a brother." I shrug. "I kinda think of jolly and Nicholas the same. they just aren't as chaotic as nick." I laugh.
Moments later, we hear a knock on the door.
"girls. I don't want to break up your moment but I really need to pee." Jolly says from the other side.
"Okay" I laugh getting up off the floor.
"For what it's worth Aliyah, I think that you should go for it. Nick is very understanding. He may be worried about it too." He says shutting the door.
"that's odd coming from jolly" I giggle.
"Maybe he is right. I should go talk to him." Aliyah suggests.
The bathroom door opens and jolly goes to his room.
"Jolly-" I call for him.
"What is it?" He pops into the bathroom again.
"Come and sit. We need advice and we trust no one but you and Nicholas." I state patting the side of the tub motioning for him to sit.
"so, jolly. has nick talked about Aliyah at all?" I squint.
"That's all he has been talking about, swear" he makes an 'x' across his heart.
"Listen, I think you should grow a pair and talk to him about it and as for you Lilly, the sexual tension between you and Noah is killing us all." He throws up his hands walking back down stairs.
I just sat there in silence, my face started getting hot.
"YOU AND NOAH HAVEN'T-" i cup my hand over Aliyah's mouth.
"Shut up. I don't wanna talk about it." I say still blushing from embarrassment.
"Why haven't you-" she whispers.
"HAVEN'T found the right time or situation and I'm really fucking scared okay?!" I say quietly."don't say anything or mention it. I feel bad about it already but I just can't." I close my eyes and slowly distance myself.
"It's okay. I'm not judging you.  You don't have to explain yourself to me. At least you didn't have an entire bus clap for you the morning after" she laughs. "Come on, let's go back down. The boys probably miss us by now."
I walk down the stairs not saying a word.
I sit next to Noah, watching the others' movements and actions.
To my left, sat Nicholas and Harper.
To my right sat, Noah and jolly and in the floor in from of the tv sat nick and Aliyah. They really did make a cute little couple. I wrapped my arm around Noah's leaning my head on his shoulder.
I sat for a moment and get up to get a drink and head outside to the back patio.
I sat down in the overgrown grass and bring my knees up to my chest.
many nights I would come out here and just contemplate.
"Scoot over" I hear a voice from behind me.
Noah, he had seen me come out here.
"is there a reason you are sitting out here all alone?" He smiles from up above.
"no and yes." I sigh. He takes a seat next to me.
"Wanna talk about it?" He leans his head on mine.
"Just something jolly said," I let my words trail off.
"what did he say?" Noah asks.
"He said that our sexual tension was killing everyone." I blush again.
" I'm gonna fucking kill him." Noah looks straight ahead. "I don't want you to feel pressured. I like us the way we are," he snakes his hands around my waist.
"I mean I don't want it to bother you, ya know that we don't-" I start.
"I don't care. I love you more than that. I don't need sex in order to keep our relationship afloat." He says before I can speak another word. " I love your body, I love every scar, every freckle and every curve. Any guys would love to have you. But you are mine. I love the way your mind works and that's all I need right now in this moment. So fuck whatever anyone else says." He tightens his grip. "I. Love.you."
The way he said it made me giggle. "Come here pretty girl"
"I like it when you call me that ya know." I say.
I hear clapping from behind us.
"That was a beautiful speech." Nicholas laughs
"yeah man, abstinence is the way to go man." Folio leans up against the door way. "Ow-" Aliyah punched his arm.
"I'm sorry for what I said, I didn't think it would bother you." Jolly looked Down.
I gave him a light hearted smile and walked through the door