Careful what you wish for

Confessions , confessions.

After the dance party , everyone started leaving to thier rooms. Leaving Noah and I , with a sleepy willow.
"Willow, are you ready for bed?" I ask leaning against the couch. She looked at me for a moment , then vigorously shook her head.
"Not yet, one more thing." she runs off up the stairs as I quickly follow her.
"Where you going willow?" I whisper.
She opens the door to the room Aliyah and nick took.
"Miss liyah?" She peaks her head around the white door frame.
"what's up willow?" Aliyah responds.
"I just wanted to tell you good night." she smiled.
"Well good night to you too Willow." Aliyah brushes her right hand against willows face.
"What about me?" Nick raises up from the pile of pillows.
Willow climbs into the bed into nicks lap.
"Good night , uncle Nick." She hugs Nick around the neck.
"Good night willow bug." He waves her out of the room.
"Night guys." I wave shutting the door.
I go to jollys room, meeting Willow in the door way.
"good night, uncle jolly." Willow hugs him from his lap.
"Ohhhh goodnight, princess willow." jolly squeezes the little girl.
"Night jolly." I say shutting jollys door. "One more stop?" I ask Willow as she walks quietly to nicholas' door.
"Go ahead." I motion for her to open the door.
"hey bug," Nicholas greets the small girl.
"good night uncle Nicky." she smiles giving Nicholas a hug as she did the others.
"Night sweet girl." He replied as she ran back down stairs.
"Hey lil," nic gets my attention.
"What's up?" I turn around.
"Talk later?"
"yeah, of course." I respond shutting the door and turning down the stairs.
I was greeted by willow and Noah, both sitting on the couch. Willow had taken her place in Noah's lap as usual and I beside him.
"bed time Willow grace." I sternly say.
The little girl curled up in Noah's lap with a yawn bigger than she could handle.
Her arm was rested on Noah's chest beside her little head. She too, loved the sound his heart made.
He sat, brushing her skin hair out of her eyes, humming softly to her.
I looked at them and smiled.
"I love you Noah." Willow yawned before falling asleep.
I glanced to see Noah, with a small smile. she made him happy.
"she said she loved me." He smiled rocking her gently.
"It was cute. Between her and baby Mia , I have baby fever Noah." I say. "I want a baby, SO FUCKING BAD."
He blinked for a moment
"do you though? I mean, I think you'd be a hot pregnant lady, babe." He smiled. "but, let's wait it out." He laughed quietly.
"Fine. If you say so." I rolled my eyes.
"I'm taking ms.Willow to bed, you comin?" He stands up.
"Not yet, I'll be up in a few" I sigh, throwing my legs up on the couch.
I wonder what Nicholas wanted to talk about?
even though, I had brushed it off earlier, I still thought about what nick had said. about loving me first.
what would that have been like? if it HAD been nick folio and not THE Noah Sebastian?
what are you doing Lillian? stop it.
"hey," I hear, snapping out of the conversation going on in my head.
"Hey.. what's up?" I look at Nicholas as he makes his way across the carpet over to the couch.
He sat down with a sigh.
"I just need to talk to you about feelings.." he says grabbing a pillow.
"oh? What kind of feelings, Nic?" I ask.
"my feelings toward you and I don't know how to do this any other way, except for awkward and inconvenient" he starts. Nicholas was nervous. he always talked fast and with a stutter when he was nervous.
"Shoot, dude" I sit back with a sigh.
"since the day, Noah introduced me to you, I've liked you... as ya know, more.. than friends."
I closed my eyes as an attempt not to vomit.
"Nicky-" I cut him off.
"Just shut up and listen. For one second , please Lilly." He shushes me. " Lillian, I know that this sounds fuckin crazy. But I'm in love with you."
I gasped at that statement, but was I really surprised?
"Nicholas- I can't, I love Noah. I mean I love you too but , I just.. can't do that to him. not now. I , YOU can't betray him like that. First folio, now you?" I take a sharp breath. "I'm going outside for a second. Nicholas , I'm sorry."
I opened the screen door, stepping onto the grass.
what was happening? Both folio and Ruffilo? What, I couldn't do that to Noah. Not now; not even then.
I went back inside, the house was dark. Nicholas had gone to bed, along with everyone else.

the night went quickly, the morning came faster than I had wanted.
by the look on nicholas' face, I had crushed him.
He sat in silence, avoiding me, Noah and who ever else he told that secret to.
his eyes seemed empty, but I knew his head was full. Full of thoughts, full of emotion but some how.. empty.
I wish he'd never said a word. it would've been better that way.