Careful what you wish for

it was all my fault.

"Nick, where could she be? she said she would be right back and I didn't follow her out there and I-" I panic.
"where did she say she was going, Lillian." Nicholas grabs my shoulders.
"To the bus. She forgot the lens I bought for her- please find her." I drop to the floor letting tears run down my face.
"Nick, stay here with lil. Me, nic and jolly will go out and look for liyah." Noah  commands nick.
"No Noah. She is my best friend. I'm not staying." I huff.
We started down the hall, I staggered my breath.
We had searched down every room, bathroom, hallway that you could think of.
"stay here and hold the door. Me and jolly will look in the parking lot." Noah said calmly. I nod in response, putting my foot in the doorway to keep it open.
"Nicholas, hold the door. If she out there I don't want her to be alone." he grips the door with white knuckles.
I flew as my feet hit the pavement. I searched for Noah before stopping in my tracks, holding the last ounce of air in my lungs.
"NOAH, do something- JOLLY." I crash to my knees scooping Aliyah's bloodied body into my arms.
"ALIYAH , please wake up." I cry."please.. wake up."
jolly stood next to us, taking her from me. He was careful and delicate with her. Noah helped me up as I followed jolly. Behind me, Noah screamed "FUCK. GOD DAMMIT" I flinched as we approached Nicholas.
"What happened?" he looked mortified.
"I don't know." I answer with a shaky voice. we continue to follow jolly as he finds the green room.
I watch as nick hits the floor as jolly placed her on the couch.
he held her hand as I wiped away the blood from her lips and nose.
I noticed as tears rolled down nicks cheeks.
"I'm so sorry baby. I wasn't there. I couldn't-" his silent cry turned into a course whimper. I engulfed nick into a smothering hug. Comforting him as he cried by Aliyah.
"Shh. Nick it's okay. I promise. She needs us to be strong right now. let's get Noah, and get her to the hospital." I look at him.
He nods his head, followed by a sniffle. He stands up with weak knees and gently picks Aliyah up, carrying her bridal style.
"Pull the rental car around noah." I command him on the phone.
We all rushed to the back door. nick getting in the back seat with Aliyah first. then Nicholas. Jolly, on the floor on nicholas' side. I jumped in the passenger seat next to Noah. The guys sat in the back taking turns trying to wake Aliyah up.
"guys she opened her eyes" Nicholas said. "LIYAH, blink twice if you can hear me."
We all waited. "Two blinks , "
I was too scared to cry, so I tried to focus on the road.
"jolly, you're on my fuckin toes man." Nicholas says from the back seat. "Could you move your ass a little"
"I can't fuckin move dude."
"Now isn't the time. OUR BEST FRIEND IS ABOUT TO DIE IN OUR BACKSEAT AND YOU ARE WORRIED ABOUT YOUR TOES?" I turn around.
"I'm..okay." Aliyah squeezes out.
"i know , but I want to be safe." I comfort her.
"still...alive." She coughs.

We get to the hospital, they always seemed scarier when something was actually wrong.
there was something about waiting rooms that gave me anxiety. but didn't they give everyone the same thing. I observed the people around me. Along with my friends.
Nicholas and jolly sat staring at whatever bullshit sitcom on the tv, while nick paced the floor.
Noah sat, bouncing his leg.
"I picked this up. In the parking lot.. after you took her in." He hands me something wrapped in a bad omens bandana.
I open it, revealing the lens I had bought for her months before. Shattered and broken beyond repair.
I let out a gasp. I inspect the lens, turning it in my hands.
Nick stops his pacing and bends down next to me.
"is that.." I look at him with sad eyes.
"Yeah." tears welled up in my eyes.
"ms.Radke, Mr.Folio-" a nurse called for nick and I.
"she is stable for now, but she has some bruising on the kidneys and stomach. Along with two broken ribs. And a fractured arm. Would you like to see her?" The nurse gently smiled.
"YES." nick and I say in unison.
"normally , only immediate family members can visit. and even then only one at a time. But my daughter is a big fan of your band, so I'm bringing all of you." She smiles. We followed her down the narrow hallway. Hospitals smelled of alcohol and death. there was no other way to put it. She opened the door leading the five of us into the dark room flipping on the light.
we gathered around Aliyah waiting for her to say something.
"I'm sorry for scaring you guys-" she apologizes
"no , you didn't do anything." I grip the bottom of them bed till my knuckles had turned white.
I go to her left side,
"I'm just glad youre okay." I notice Noah soften his gaze.
"can I talk to liyah, alone. Please." Noah speaks up.
we leave the room, but I decided to stick around to listen.
"Aliyah." he says. "I just wanted to say that I'm sorry."
"Sorry for what Noah?" She asks with a weak voice.
"I promised Lillian that I'd protect you no matter what and you got hurt and it's all my fault." He cried.
"it isn't your fault Noah. Come here stupid." she says.
"Even though I want to drop kick you all the time, I still love you and I love the fact that you care for me. Go get the others, I miss my boyfriend." she laughs. It was good to hear her laugh again.
I hear Noah walk out of the room.
"Please don't mention anything about the lens yet. her drugs have set in, she's in a good mood." He hugs me from the side.
I walk into the room and sit on the bed next to her.
"I missed you bitch." I put my head on her shoulder.
"you scared me."
"sorry lil." Aliyah sighs.
"you know that I'm gonna be up your ass for the next... forever right?" I say.
"Good. I'm never gonna leave your side."
"Could you two get a fuckin room?" nick asks.
"Mmm nope." I stand up. "Aliyah, would you like something to drink? I'm going downstairs for food." I offer. She shakes her head No and walk toward nick, engulf him in a hug.
"When did that happen?" Aliyah laughs.
"shut up." I move , slapping nick on the ass. "Come on babe." I grab Noah's hand.
"I heard you in there , what you said to liyah." I mumble.
"yeah I know." He stared to the hallway ahead. "And I meant every word I said and I wanna find those stupid assholes that hurt her" he clenched his teeth.
"Me too. Just one. Thing. At a time. " I sigh.
we had walked down to the hospital cafeteria, grabbing juice and water for the boys and headed back upstairs.
When we got back to the room, jolly and Nicholas had sat in the window sill talking about the show, Nick and Aliyah being lovey dovey in the tiny hospital bed. I took water to nic and jolly.
"Water?" I ask.
"Yes. Thank you Lilly." Jolly said. I pat his shoulder and turn to nic.
"Water , Nicky?" He nods his head. I take my hand and cup it around nics jaw, rubbing my thumb against it as a sign to unclench.
I turn back away toward Noah. Backing into him as he puts his arms around me.
"I love the way you treat them like they are your responsibility." he whispers. "And me. You are so good to us and everyone you meet , despite who has wronged you."
"when you have a mom that leaves you and a dad that tries his best but everyone sees him as a monster , you learn to be kind, no matter who it is" I rock back and forth on my toes.
*knock*
"visiting time is over. So if you aren't immediate family , you have to go." The nurse says politely.
"nick, you're staying. So I'm gonna go." I look at him.
"WAIT- don't go. You stay too." Aliyah says.
"Guess I'm staying. You'll be okay without me?" I ask Noah.
"Yeah , I'll be okay." He smiles and gathers the other two.
I stayed in the room, watching Aliyah sleep.
Nick and I sat in silence watching, listening.
"I'm grateful for you. for her." He points to Aliyah.
"you aren't so bad." I laugh.
"her lens.. " he trails off.
"it's okay. I can buy her a better one." I say. "I'm just glad she is okay."
I lay my head on nicks shoulder and without worry, I fell asleep.
she was gonna be okay. we were gonna be okay.