The Lieutenant's Love

All by Myself

All the residents sat in the resident's lounge waiting to hear who got the solo surgery. Charlie sat in my lap while Harry was in daycare playing with his friends.

"He said Karev," Dr Spalding said running in.

" Yes!" Alex fist-pumped the air.

"Are you sure?" George asked.

"Yeah," Dr Spalding said.

"You're "sure" sure?" Izzie asked. Dr Spalding stayed quiet.

"Stevens! He said Stevens," One of George's interns said walking in.

" Well, which is it, moron, Stevens or Karev?" Alex asked.

"This is stupid. You guys are gonna trust these imbeciles to tell you who's getting the solo surgery?" Cristina asked.

"Is this hard for you, being banned from the solo surgery? It must be really hard for you," Izzie said. Cristina was banned from solo surgery for knowing the interns were practising on each other.

"He may change his mind. He's been known to change his mind," Meredith said.

"Please don't do that. You guys go ahead and, uh, will yourselves to be voted in. Use "the secret," Cristina said.

"Grey! Uh, the chief said Grey," Steve, another intern said running in as Bailey walked in behind him.

"What? Come on. This is bogus," Alex said.

"You're just figuring that out? Steve is not a lip reader. None of the interns are lip-readers. You just have to wait for the attendings to vote just like we did when I won," Bailey said.

"You won your solo surgery?" Cristina asked.

"I'm just gonna pretend you didn't feel the need to ask me that question, Yang. Of course, I won. I was good. I didn't cut L-VAD wires ... or put my hand in bomb-y body cavities or have my interns operating on themselves. I was special. I was young, gifted and black, and everybody knew it. The attendings knew it. The chief knew it. I didn't have to act like I could read lips. Just go about my work calmly, and waited for my name to get called," Bailey said.

"Okay. It's done," Lexie said rushing in.

"Oh, whatever, Helen Keller," Alex said.

"No, I'm serious. The chief sent me. They made their choice," Lexie said. The chief called Cristina, George, Izzie, Meredith, Alex and me outside a conference room.

"I am happy to announce that the first solo surgery will take place tonight ... a below-the-knee amputation, bone cancer. Mr Collinsworth in 2212," Dr Webber said.

"No appy?" Meredith asked.

"Saw action. Sweet," Alex said.

"Choosing who gets the first solo surgery isn't just about who has the best surgical skills or who's logged the most hours in the OR. It's about the highest form of trust ... the trust to put a patient's life into one of our resident's hands. And for the first time that I can recall, every single attending picked the same person. Dr Yang. However, Dr Yang is out of the running. She is going to pick the winner instead. Dr Yang will post her decision on the OR board at 4:00 PM. Also, since your interns are still banned from the OR the winner will be allowed to pick a fellow resident to scrub in with them. Good luck," Dr Webber said. We all walked away. Carter and Riley were walking down the hallway.

"Skills lab boys. Where's Harris and Maxwell?" I asked.

"Not sure," Carter said.

"Okay let's go," I said. We found Harris and Maxwell stood with some other interns. "Harris, Maxwell. Skills lab let's go," I said. "Any of you lot not assigned to anything?" I asked the other interns.

"Me," Lexie said.

"You come too, Grey," I said. We walked to the skills lab.

"Why is nothing set up?" Carter asked.

"You guys went to extreme measures because you all felt like you weren't learning. I failed you as a resident. So we're going to learn. You're going to learn medical procedures and I'm going to learn to be a better resident. Grab a pen and write down any medical procedures you would like to learn that doesn't require an OR," I said bouncing Charlie on my hip. "I am a resident it's my job to teach you and I let you down and in turn you let me down by deciding to perform a surgery on one of your own. That's not going to happen anymore. So what's our first procedure?" Everyone began talking at once. I whistled loudly causing Charlie to giggle as everyone stopped. "Each of you write down what procedure you want to do on a piece of paper," I said.

"What now?" Lexie asked.

"Fold up the paper and put it in this cup," I said holding out a cup. The residents did as I said. "Now little man pick out a piece of paper for me," Charlie pulled out a piece of paper and passed it to me.

"Dilation and Curettage," I read out.

"Abortion?" Maxwell asked.

"D&Cs are used as miscarriage treatment or as the procedure that we use to perform an abortion. It can save a woman's life, Dr Maxwell. This procedure may not align with any of your beliefs I won't force you to learn it but I will teach the procedure to those of you who are interested," I said. "I will not respect you any less if you decide not to learn this procedure,"

"I'd like to stay," Maxwell said.

"Okay then. The surgical dummies we have don't have the capabilities to demonstrate this procedure so grab a notebook and a pen. We're watching surgical tapes," I said.

Timeskip

We were still in the skills lab. Charlie was asleep in a chair.

"Okay. So today we have learned how to perform a D&C, a tonsillectomy and an appendectomy. We've answered all the questions. We've learned how each of you learns best and we've got a direction to head in. So go get your lunch," I said. The interns left and I began clearing things out. Bailey walked in.

"Your name's not on the surgical board," Dr Bailey said.

"My interns decided to cut each other because they weren't learning. I let them down," I said. "So I am prioritising them," I said.

"You're a good surgeon Sloan. And surely you've got a good set of leadership skills considering your army rank," Dr Bailey said.

"Leading soldiers is different. But I'll get there," I said.