Night Changes [N.H]

Chapter 63

Chapter 63

I didn't sleep that night.

Not that I would have slept anyway.

All I could think about was how fast the night changes, and how different the world would be without Zayn Malik in One Direction.

How would the boys continue the tour and other deals?

Would Zayn be replaced?

Niall had been talking about another album, but would that even be possible without Zayn?

Zayn had spent almost five years with the people who loved him most. It wouldn't be the same without him.

I thought about how everybody would react- the fan base, media outlets, general public... it would almost be embarrassing.

So many questions.

It would be such a big deal when they made their first public appearance without Zayn, it almost made me too scared to show my face. Just being a fan of One Direction would bring enough attention to the matter.

It would be what everybody would be talking about.

The vibes backstage were bittersweet that night.

The only people that even knew about Zayn's "break" were me, the other band mates, Lou, and a few other of the crew members that Zayn was friendly with.

The first time I saw him since hearing the news, he was sitting with some crew members in one of the green rooms, talking.

My heart skipped a beat when I saw him, because I had been trying to ignore him. I didn't want to be reminded of what happened yesterday.

I burst into tears when I saw him.

It was actually kind of embarrassing, standing in the doorway in front of him and some strangers, emotionally unstable. I couldn't help but break down in tears.

At least I was pregnant, so I had an excuse.

They all turned to look at me when they heard my cries, their eyes judgmental.

"Yo, is she a fan?" One of the guys asked. There was absolutely no sympathy in his voice.

My hand shook over my mouth, tears streaming down my face. I guess I did look kind of like a dedicated fan. I've seen them so many times. I was a a twenty-year-old pregnant dedicated 1D fan.

Zayn's expression frowned. He knew that I knew.

"Can we talk about this later?" He asked. He did have a sympathetic sound in his voice either, but I knew that there wouldn't be a "later."

"Did you get her pregnant?" One of the other guys asked, laughing under his breath. "Yooooo."

My shoulders sulked the harder I cried. I felt so ashamed of myself. I was nothing but a joke to them.

"No, she's a friend," Zayn said defensively. "Can you guys quit it? Things have been rough around here lately."

I moved my hands up to my eyes and wiped some tears away. My eyes felt puffy. I leaned against the door frame for support, and the other guys just looked at me.

I didn't know if I should leave, or stay and wait for Zayn to say something. The situation was awkward. 

"Talk to me before the end of the night," I began to say to Zayn. "You may not think of me as a fan, but I am."

I turned away quick enough that I avoided seeing the look on his face when I left. I sniffled and wiped some tears on my way out.

"Hey Alyssa," I heard a voice say from one of the rooms that I passed on my aimless journey. I backed up and saw Lou in one of the dressing rooms. She waved me inside.