HOUSE OF CARDS || VKOOK

Chapter 20: You feel so far away but you always come my way

Forced. The word itself suffocates us, doesn't it? The thought of forcing yourself to blend with some people is so suffocating, so nauseous that you want to vomit.

But what happens when you force yourself into a relationship that you never want to be involved with? How does it feel to stay with someone, share a room with someone, be intimate with someone you don't even love?

Feels like you're throwing yourself into the deep ocean. Knowing you can swim but despite it, you'll still drown because of how tricky and deep the ocean is.

Jimin is in the situation right now. He doesn't know what to do, how to cope with the sophisticated situation that he has thrown himself into.

He's so stuck that it started to slowly suffocate him.

Jimin sighs heavily as he gripped the edges of the basin and hung his head low. His wet silver hair hung lowly in front of his face. He was wearing a white robe since he had just taken a shower and he was already having a battle in his head if he should step outside of the bathroom or not.

Jimin looks at Himself in the mirror and curses internally, pathetic.  How long does he have to continue this act? How long he should push himself out of his comfort zone. Even though outside the bathroom waiting for him that someone is none other than his husband and also his best friend, he's still scared to step outside and face him.

He's ready to face any kind of complications or ready to pay any kind of price but instead, he's dealing with his own comfort zone. He's dealing with his husband like he's some kind of stranger or predator who'll jump on him and will try to devour him without his consent.

He first thought behaving rudely with Taehyung will help him to stay in his comfort zone which worked. His rude behavior forced his husband to not touch him, to not get close to him, to avoid any kind of intimation. But now, he's again facing the same thing.

He's again forcing himself to let Taehyung do whatever he wants with him just like he did at the start of their marriage.

He let Taehyung touch him, he let Taehyung kiss him, he let Taehyung explore him, he let Taehyung have sex with him without the younger realizing that it's totally out of Jimin's consent.

Taehyung didn't even realize that the golden moments he had spent with Jimin at the start of their marriage were actually his husband forcing himself to do so. That none of the moments were really meaningful to Jimin.

It was all forced. An act.

And now, Jimin is again forced to act the same way with Taehyung as he did two years ago.

But this time Jimin decided no matter what he'll not let Taehyung touch him. He'll do what he was being told but without stepping out of his comfort zone.

He feels bad, he feels mad that he's playing with his best friend's feelings and emotions like that. The same best friend that he grew up with. The same Taehyung he used to treat as a younger brother and protect him from everything that may hurt him.

But, oh, how the tables have turned? Now he's the one who's hurting his best friend.

Jimin looks at himself in the mirror and nearly cried out loudly when saw the thick layer of tears glimmering into his puppy round eyes.

"When will this fucking come to an end?!" Jimin let out frustratingly, of course in a more subdued tone as he slammed his both palms over the edges of the basin.

Jimin straightened up his posture after some few minutes of him silently crying and wiped his tears with the sleeves of the robe. He turns on the faucet and splashed some cold water on his face. Jimin took the towel and tapped it against his face to get rid of the wet substance off of his face.