32.1 Reconciliation

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Aria watched silently under the gloomy Rouverian sky as Sterling and Kazuki spoke in hushed tones, loud enough for her to hear but soft so that the bystanders could continue being clueless. She hadn't said a word since leaving the reservation and was stuck in her own nightmare, seeing the world numbly after they thanked the chief for his time and information, and left to return to their splendidly dull country.

Edward is Margot's son. Edward was Madame's son. Edward, my best friend, died by my hand. Aria heard the nasty voice in her head say over and over, torturing her with the revelation. Aria had no idea if Edward was innocent or not, but she honestly didn't care, because the moment she connected the dots between Edward and Margot's son, she could only think of how she had taken the life of her best friend. She thought nothing of the other lives she had taken or of Margot's betrayal; all she could see were vivid memories of her and Edward playing together. Of course, she couldn't remember Margot ever being in the picture, but she assumed that it was the nannies that had always accompanied Edward. Being a citizen of Grandville, his mother's true identity was kept a secret, and while Margot operated the underground assassin group, Edward pretended to be a Grandville-hating Rouverian, then switched sides to protect his mother country. In all fairness, Aria couldn't blame him, but it did little to soften the blow of the realization that she had killed her best friend.

"Kazuki's going to try and get us into headquarters this weekend so we can check the tapes," Sterling said, coming up behind her. He kissed her cheek and wrapped her in his arms, aware of the tenseness that squeezed her shoulders. "I have no doubt now that Madame's doing some kind of scheme. I don't know if she's tricked the government as well, but we're going to have to delve into enemy territory again...well, the real enemy."

"Yeah, I figured as much," Aria muttered. "We're going to have to sneak into her office."

"Unfortunately. You know, it's weird. I always saw that picture of the boy on her desk, but I never made the connection that it was Edward."

"I should have. I wasn't paying attention as well as I was supposed to." Aria hid her face behind her scraggly hair. "I was failing at my job before I knew it."

"Failing? What are you-oh." Sterling studied her forlorn expression. "Aria, please tell me you're not guilting yourself over Edward's death."

"Not just Edward. Everyone." Aria glared at the ground. "You know me, Sterling. You know I hate pity. I hate crying. I hate anything emotional."

"But?"

"But why am I feeling this way then?" She stomped her foot on the ground, pounding her frustration into the earth. "Why do I feel sorry for them? Why do I feel like everything is my fault? Why...why..." she lost her words. "How can I make this go away?"

Sterling pursed his lips in thought. "There's no way that you can bring someone back from the dead, Ari. You know that. When you entered this job, you thought you were protecting your country. You thought that the lives you were taking were of truly horrendous people - and you weren't wrong. Garmond and Gall were both doing terrible things. Granted, they weren't necessarily betraying the country, but you killed them fairly. It's your job to kill - to feel nothing for your victims because that makes you human. Madame wanted to wipe the humanity from us so she could use us for whatever she wanted to do with this country."

"But I killed my best friend," Aria insisted. She wasn't crying, but her face was contorted in sheer self-hatred and disgust. "I killed Edward and I didn't feel anything for doing it. I hated him, Sterling when I thought he was working against our country. Now I...I don't know who's wrong and who's right!"

"We're going to get those answers this weekend," Sterling assured her, matching the fire that was burning in her furious gaze. "We'll fix this before anyone else gets hurt. I know we will."

His reassurance dissolved the pit of anger that was burning a hole in her gut, and Aria faced him with a small, grateful smile.

"Alright," she said and stood on her tiptoes to kiss him. "Thank you."

"No thanks necessary. I was only doing what any good partner would do," he said whilst grinning. "Aria, you're the fiercest woman I know. I've never underestimated you, and I never will. What you say is what you really feel, and I'm grateful that you can be honest with me, even if it's not something that you like to do."

"What can I say?" She shrugged. "I live a life of deception. Sometimes I don't even know myself."

"I think everyone in Hades can agree with that sentiment at least once in their career," Sterling laughed. "Do you know how the Greeks used to think our lives were like strings that could be cut at any second?"

"Yeah?"

"Sometimes I think we're bound by those strings, caught up in a tangled web of half-truths and lies." He paused. "Damn, I can be a philosopher."

"Uh...I'd suggest keeping your current job," Aria teased, walking with him along the dark road and occasionally glancing at the shops next to them. "I'm curious, actually. If we do manage to take down Madame and whatever scheme she's doing...what will you do?"

"I don't know. I've never thought about it." Sterling whistled a foreign melody as he thought. "Perhaps a merchant? Or maybe I'd get a job in the Senate. I'm not sure. What about you?"

"Well, I always thought I'd take over my aunt and uncle's estate and work there," Aria murmured. "I don't know if that's still going to happen though, so I'm not sure what I'll be doing."

"I'm sure you guys will get back together soon," Sterling said. "From what I know of your aunt, I have a feeling that she won't be able to live without you for long. Your uncle too."

"I hope you're right. I know it's only been a few days, but they're still my family."

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Aria seems to be having another identity crisis...will Sterling be able to help her? I hope you all are enjoying this story so far before it sadly comes to an end 

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