Chapter Forty-Five

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She started building walls between them. She couldn't help it. It was her defense mechanism, even though she should be doing the opposite and instead spend as much time with Federico as possible while kissing him, hugging him, and making love to him.

She just couldn't. Her heart was bleeding out and the walls around her prevented her from hurting more. If possible.

In her rational mind, she believed starting to act as friends would be better. After all, they should return to friendship. Friends worked better in long-distance relationships rather than romantic ones. Not as many expectations.

However, she didn't want to break up with him. Not yet. She didn't want to have a long chat with Federico and ruin his happy moment. He was in a whirlwind of happiness, she didn't have the heart to crush it.

So, she decided to remain quiet about her desires, needs, and selfish wishes. Again. She was falling back into old routines but gladly.

As she mulled more over their situation she wondered if starting to act as if they were friends only again would help. He might get a hint and humor her.

It didn't sound likely, but it was something she could try while not ripping her entire heart out yet.

For the past few days, she'd avoided going to her favorite hellhole, his place. She knew the moment she stepped into his apartment, she would cave in and jump at him.

So, she'd been coming up with terrible excuses to prevent going to his place until she just couldn't keep denying him anymore.

He asked her if she wanted to watch a movie. It was a weak moment, she had agreed. But now as she stood outside his place, she wondered if she should have fought harder. Maybe asked him to come to her place instead, though she wasn't sure how Nina would react.

Nina had given her blessing but hadn't seen Ally and Fede together in earnest.

He opened his door in a quick swing and grinned down at her, taking her all in.

He grabbed her and leaned forward, but before his lips could connect with hers, she twisted her head so he ended up kissing her cheek. She pretended she hadn't avoided his kiss and buried her face against his chest.

He still smelled delicious, and she wanted to remain in his arms. It was unfair that now that she finally had him, she had to let him go.

When his hot breath fell on her ear, she shivered.

"What was that?" He asked though he didn't sound perturbed. Instead, he pushed back, much to her dismay, and cupped her cheeks. He leaned forward this time and she couldn't do anything about it.

Her stomach twirled when his lips connected with hers. They were so soft and warm. She whimpered, missing him far too much.

When he tilted her head, deepening the kiss, she couldn't help but give in and started kissing him back in earnest. This could be one of their last kisses, she might as well enjoy it.

Her mouth moved hungrily against his.

Once he retreated, she growled, wanting to crawl back to him. But then he tightened his grip around her waist and hugged her tightly, unwilling to let her go. His mouth dropped reverent kisses down her jaw and neck.

"Fuck," he hissed, and she shuddered at the husky tone. "I miss you. I miss you so much. All the time."

Her heart pounded hard against her chest.

I know what you mean. I miss you too. All the time.

She closed her eyes, keeping her tears at bay. Though there was nothing she wanted more than to remain close to him, she knew once he was gone to LA she would miss him worse. And she didn't know how she would deal with it. She knew she was going to move forward, but it was going to be so painful.

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