Eric Nam: Super Junior's Vocal Maknae Book 1: Beginnings

Confronting the Truth

May 2014

"I'm here Oppa mianhe for the wait, got stuck trying to finish performing you know how it goes." Sooyoung said arriving at empty park late at night.

"Some things never change with you. Attendance is never your strong suit." Eric laughed.

"You shouldn't be talking oppa you always have a reputation for arriving late!" Sooyoung replied.

"Touche. I think you already know why I called you."

Sooyoung was confused for a second before it actually hit her. She smiled in anticipation.

"So... you finally made up your mind oppa. It's been too long to be honest. It felt like you kept avoiding me all these months."

"Believe me I was going to you sooner, but then my brother moved here and I had to arrange things for him, then the mourning with Leeteuk hyung, Super Junior-M, SMtown, and my own comeback yada yada. Point is work got in the way of things. I already made up my answer, just listen. Look, I don't know how else to break it to you but I sadly cannot return those feelings Sooyoung-ah." Eric broke the news, completely changing Sooyoung's expression.

"M-Mwo W-What do you mean oppa? Didn't I give you my word?" Sooyoung felt like the world has stopped.

"It's not your fault at all! Don't confuse things!! You're a great girl, you're very pretty there's no taking that from you, but I just don't feel anything beyond just being friends." Eric saw Sooyoung began to tear up so he held her hands.

"Please don't cry Sooyoung-ah. It's my fault for not telling you sooner. I was a coward. Instead of being honest with you that day, I mislead you into thinking I had feelings. Right now I'm being honest as I can. I never done this to any girl before. I'm not the person you think I am Sooyoung-ah. Even though people call me the ideal boyfriend, I have no experience in dating!! I'm just a church boy with insecurities of his own. Please don't take anything personal. That is my answer to you." Eric said to her, also feeling immense pain for her. 

He wiped a few of her tears and gave her a sad hug.

"I-I'm so sorry Sooyoung-ah! I never meant to hurt you! This is all my fault!" Eric began crying as he continued to comfort the crying Sooyoung. 

"I should have known I didn't stand any chance, but tell me oppa why Ailee? What is so special about her? Sure she's a great singer, she may be pretty and confident, but I'm pretty and confident. Do I not compare to her!? Why is it always Ailee!? WAE!?" She cried out causing to her cough from screaming.

"Because we're alike Sooyoung-ah! Because we share the same background. She's helped me in so many ways you cannot understand. Yes, she's pretty. Yes, she is very talented, but most importantly she's the woman who truly understands who I am, not just as an idol, but a person! I love her Sooyoung and I'll do anything for her." Eric confessed with the upmost conviction.

There was an awkward silence before Sooyoung spoke. Even though her face was extremely red, she was smiling again, but to Eric it was a pained smile.

"I see, no matter what I do I can't convince you to love me. Gamsahapnida oppa for answering my question. I don't want you to feel sorry for me. I'll recover from this believe me. Even though you rejected me, my feelings about you will never change. You're the kindest, sweetest, most handsome man any girl would have. Any girl would be lucky to be with you including Ailee unnie." Sooyoung said before she parted ways with Eric Nam.

While Eric left away feeling worse than before, Sooyoung hid inside her car nearby crying. The poor girl used up all her strength to hide her real emotion. She never thought rejection would hurt this much. Pain in her heart is what she felt. The feeling that her beloved crush never shared feelings she has. For many years since she was a trainee, she has always idolized Eric Nam. From just a simple admiration evolved into a smothering crush. There were many things that turned her on from his manly voice to his handsome getup. She could honestly write a list and it would be very long. This was the man she loved for so long and now the truth has been heard, she doesn't know what to do.

For the next few days Sooyoung was a shell of her normal self. Even she tried to play off with a carefree laugh the girls were concerned. Tiffany herself can see the pain. 

"What is the matter with you Sooyoung-ah? You've been very weird for the past few days. Did something happen?" Tiffany asked concerned.

"What are talking about Tiffany unnie you're being dramatic I'm fine." Sooyoung played it off with a laugh.

"Sooyoung, I have known you for a long time I can tell when you're lying. You've been acting depressed lately. You're the last person I know who should feel that way. Explain." Tiffany nudged her causing her to sigh.

And so Sooyoung told everything to her from her not-so-secret crush on Eric, her very bold confession and the subsequent rejection. Of course Tiffany herself wasn't too surprised. Her crush on Eric was fairly obvious, not as obvious as Seohyun but obvious enough she always talked about him. Everytime SNSD would hang out with Super Junior, she was always talking to Eric Nam. She understood why she would like Eric? He's thoughtful, considerate, handsome. Eric is the ideal boyfriend which is why he is the most popular in SM. Part of her wanted to smack Eric for making her cry, but she knew it wouldn't fair to him. He isn't the type of person to lie and if Eric rejected her, there must be a reason. 

"I wish I could help you Sooyoung-ah. You liked him for so many years. He should've told you much sooner instead of leading you on! Can't say I'm particularly happy about it, but knowing how awkward he's been with girls this is probably the first someone confessed to him. I got to hand it you Sooyoung-ah that very bold of you to make a move like that." Tiffany hugged her.

"Looking back I didn't know what I was doing. That was stupid of me for kissing him out of the blue. I think I've just made things worse for him! He looked so confused that night but I'm happy he told me his feelings. Just give me some time Tiffany-ah I'll be better. I'm not giving up! If oppa isn't the one, then there's some other man for me. I just need to believe in myself!" Sooyoung said with a determined look.

"Even after all that you're still cheery as ever." Tiffany said amazed.

"I have to be unnie! Sure, it sucked, but I'm glad he was honest with me. I'm confident there is someone for me. I just have to believe." Sooyoung said with a reassuring grin.

"Achoo!! Feels like someone's talking about me." Eddie sneezed after a long day of work as manager.